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Success Formula Podcast
Master Camera Confidence In Weeks With Julee Gracey's Simple Framework
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Confidence is not something you are born without, it is a skill most people were never taught, and that is exactly the gap Shawn Lynch and confidence coach Julee Gracey close in this conversation. If you have ever frozen up in front of a camera, gone blank mid sentence, or told yourself you are just not a confident person, this episode will change how you think about all of it.
Julee Gracey grew up on a farm before becoming a business coach, keynote speaker, and author of Highly Confident, and she has spent years teaching entrepreneurs and everyday communicators how tonality, pacing, and the power of a well placed pause can completely change the way a message lands. Throughout the episode, Shawn and Julee break down why confidence is something every person is born with rather than something you either have or do not have, how to get comfortable on camera using simple tricks like standing up and picturing a friend's face behind the lens, why cutting filler words like um and uh takes consistent practice rather than a single fix, and how storytelling, body language, and vulnerability turn an ordinary presentation into one people actually remember. Julee also shares the exact communication skills she teaches inside her Confidence on Camera Academy, along with practical advice on setting boundaries, saying no without guilt, and pricing conversations that build trust instead of pressure.
If this episode helped you see your own voice differently, hit subscribe to the Official Success Formula channel so you never miss an episode built around personal and professional growth, listen to the full conversation on the Success Formula Podcast, and visit Julee Gracey's website to explore her book, her coaching, and the Confidence on Camera Academy for yourself.
Website- 🌐 https://juleegracey.com/
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Why do some people walk into a room and immediately command attention while others struggle to get anyone to even listen to them?
SPEAKER_00People are more afraid of public speaking than dying.
SPEAKER_02There's one thing that people do on camera that immediately makes them look less confident. And almost everybody out there does it.
SPEAKER_00Number one reason people don't like themselves on camera and don't like the sound of their voice.
SPEAKER_02Julie gave me one simple extra title that you can do every single day to become a better.
SPEAKER_00Get familiar with you. Because once you do that, confidence.
SPEAKER_02And what are parents doing?
SPEAKER_00Your kids really reflect them back into you. And sometimes that can be challenging for a parent.
SPEAKER_02By the end of this conversation, we have completely broken down confidence, communication, public speaking, storytelling, listening, parenting, and being on camera.
SPEAKER_00It is a skill that you can build, and it starts with practicing.
SPEAKER_02So first of all, thanks for coming on. And today, I didn't just want to have another normal podcast. I wanted to pretty much put on a complete masterclass on communication and confidence in speaking on camera. So before we get into that, tell me a little bit about your story, where you came from, uh, what got you here today.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, no, I love that. And thanks for having me. Um where my confidence first was built is where a lot of people ask me, how did you become so confident? And, you know, you everything I think that what our fears, the things that we think about ourselves, it all goes back to our childhood. And so I was very blessed to grow up on a farm. My father was a farmer. And listen, farm life is tough.
SPEAKER_02It's hard, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Responsibility and irresponsibility. There is no one coming to save you. And there is no complaining. Like I had two parents that worked 80 hours a week. So I saw what hard work looked like. And I'll tell you this, it's one thing I never once heard them complain. Never.
SPEAKER_01I love it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And it was like, this is just what you do. This is normal. It is normal to get up and work really hard and be grateful for what you have. I was like, oh, well, that's that's how you do life. And so when you, you know, like I said, when the cows get out, no one's coming to help you get them back in. You got to figure it out. When you're working on machines or anything like that, you have to figure it out yourself.
SPEAKER_02And so many, how many brothers and sisters?
SPEAKER_00I have an older brother. Okay. And yeah, I was the youngest. And um I think it was farm life was good for me because I was a little bit of like, I just want to challenge the world. You know, and farm life was like, okay, we're gonna, we're gonna knock you down a few notches. And, you know, you have to, you know, you can really get yourself into some some trouble and hurt yourself. You have to be responsible. And I'm really grateful, especially for my mother, who was like, you have choices. You know, here's here's how to make a proper decision, but you ultimately you get to live with that choice. And that there's so much confidence that you build in that of like, I made that choice and I messed up, but now I know how to fix it. So failure was a normal part of the day on a farm. So it wasn't like, oh, I failed, I'm unworthy. It was like, no, you just learned what not to do. And so I attribute that to, you know, building my confidence at a young age.
SPEAKER_02Do you think that people are born confident? Or do you think it's something that they learn over time?
SPEAKER_00I actually believe people are born confident. Okay. And the reason is you have little ones.
SPEAKER_01I do.
SPEAKER_00When they want something, they are relentless to get it, aren't they? And they have no shame. I want this. I'm gonna, I'm gonna beg, I'm gonna plead, I'm gonna lay on the floor. Dead, dead, I'm gonna, I'm gonna try to do a tantrum. They are the ultimate salespeople. Okay, well, that didn't work, but let me lay on the floor and tantrum. Let me scream, let me stop my feet, let me come with my big eyes and daddy, please. Right. Like they are the ultimate salespeople. They have no shame. They are so confident. And then what happens is they get to society. It's not, we don't behave that way. What you're doing is wrong. How you're acting, this is the right way. Oh, oh, okay. So right, we start to, which in some ways they need that. But then society tells them what they're doing wrong. Then they start the comparison with other people. So it's really outside forces, but I believe that everybody is born incredibly confident because I have had two toddlers, and let me tell you, most confident kids ever. And it's it's society that comes in.
SPEAKER_02I I feel like my yeah, I kind of see that in my kids. Um, for sure.
SPEAKER_00I mean, yeah, your little girl comes in and she throws those bit that big smile, and you're like, I will give you whatever you want. And she knows it.
SPEAKER_02I fight it because I know how important it is. And you know, I early on, I didn't my son was a super late talker, and I didn't really think he was learning as much as he was. And so I had I gave him the iPad a lot. Like I it's just we were first-time parents, we were both busy entrepreneurs, and it like I since he wasn't talking, I was like, man, I can't wait till he gets a little bit older so I can teach him all this stuff that I want to teach him. And so to keep him busy, he cried a lot. We gave him the iPad, big mistake. Um and that won't happen ever again. But when we took it away, he was and he did start talking, he was saying a bunch of weird stuff like from the iPad that we didn't teach him. I mean, everything was coming definitely from what he was watching on YouTube. Yeah. Super weird stuff. And once I took it away though, and put in this kind of reward system that he learns a new skill, or we did communicate we worked on communication every week. Uh, and that's how he got his rewards, and that's how he improved. He immediately improved. I mean, within like two or three weeks, like night and day difference. And then we've been working on that ever since. And since I lacked communication so much whenever I was growing up in a fear of it, that's pretty much what we work on first and foremost before we work on anything else. So cutting out the ums and ahs and and pausing and all that stuff. He he catches me, I catch him. So I was like, I'll do push-ups, or he does push-ups if if I catch him. And now he he's better than me on the um and ah thing. He'll still catch me. It's like, Dad, you said um. It's like, all right, I get it. And so now we're advancing on all these other skills that we're working on.
SPEAKER_00So yeah, communication is such a valuable skill, and you learn it from your parents. And so then as a parent, there's that pressure of, oh, they are watching me and learning from me.
SPEAKER_02Big time.
SPEAKER_00And so then you start to see your own flaws, and that's you know, we we can shove those down as adults and not look at them, but your kids really refract reflect them back into you. And sometimes that can be challenging for a parent. And here's one thing, too, is I teach is have you ever been a parent before? No. Have you ever been a parent of a child at this age, in this day and age? No, you haven't. So let's let go of the guilt and the shame. You're actively trying to do better as a parent. I believe every good parent tries, but to to expect yourself to be perfect in that, because there's so many people that are like, oh, I was a bad mom or I was a bad father. Look at me, we're all we're all doing the best that we can. If you, you know, I was raised, my mom was smoking cigarettes in the car. We couldn't actually get the seat belts out because they were tucked away in the car. We weren't allowed to use them because we'd have to, you know, like it's about how I grew up. You know what I mean? So you're like, oh, that's how we were raised, and guess what? We're just fine.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I it is what it is. I'll admit the mistake. Like, I again we were first-time parents. Uh he was a really late talker, and so I just assumed that like I couldn't teach him a bunch of stuff because he wasn't really communicating with me. And uh it was a mistake, you know, and that won't happen with the rest of my kids and and with him anymore. But you make mistakes and you uh like you said, you're raising some if we were first-time parents in this new world of technology, and you're just doing what you can to try to make it work.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and and when we talk about as they get older, like teenagers, we get into where we talk about your your school that you're helping people with and you're teaching them how to have these skills, these life skills. And a parent can only teach what they know.
SPEAKER_01I know. That's what I tell a lot of the parents.
SPEAKER_00And so again, uh my big thing is letting go of any guilt or shame or like, oh wow, I I should have done this, I should have done this. No, you're doing the best that you can. Now you're aware, awareness is the key. Now let's start seeking out where we can uh have additional resources. Like I have two teenage daughters, and I know I should not be the only source of information for them. I can teach them so much, but I cannot teach them everything. So, how can I guide them to learn things from other people that I trust? Uh, because they need to teach them things that I cannot.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. It's just like hiring a coach uh for a soccer team. Or if you want your kid to get better at soccer, you hire an outside person. Even if you're at home yelling at them, telling them to do that exact same thing when you hear it from a third party, they're like, Oh, okay, that makes sense.
SPEAKER_00And that is the case. It's mom and dad.
SPEAKER_02Like at the end of the day, no matter what you do, if you say all the same things as somebody else, they're you're still mom and dad and they're still gonna have like that thing. They're listening to you, but the third party the third party validation is is always helpful. I I told that people at the at the event last time I said, Look, a lot of stuff I'm gonna talk about today is probably stuff you've been telling them already, but hopefully they absorb it in a different way or see it in a different way by seeing all these other kids here do some things that they were scared of do.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I mean, I think about that. My mom would tell me certain things and I'd be like, oh, but then I would hear it somewhere else, I'd be like, that sounds great. And you know, and I do it with my own kids. I'm like, hey, if you learn this, this, this, you could do this. They're like, yeah. And then someone else tells them, like, look what I'm doing. I'm like, I know I already told you that, but that's okay, great, good for you.
SPEAKER_02That's all good. That's that's that's life. Why do you why do you think so many people believe that they're not confident?
SPEAKER_00Again, it's those the the stories they say in their head. Um, I always I believe that we're the hardest on ourselves. I did that. We're the hardest on ourselves. And it's where every mistake we made, why we're not good enough, the comparison of things. And and a lot of people have people in their life that have it's just that one thing that someone said that one time. You'd be amazed how one person's statement one time just like it it tattoos on their brain.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And so a lot of the coaching that I do with entrepreneurs, business owners is you know, I I'm not a life coach, but a lot of what I'm doing is getting them to unthink the way they think.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02I I would agree with that. I I follow that one speech coach that I was telling you about, and he I heard him say one time that you're not shy, you've just been practicing being shy for like 17 years of your life. And he's like, if anything to get good at anything, if you practice every single day, he's like, that means you're really good at you're like pulling yourself out of the situations that you don't want to be in because and so you're just practicing like that those same behaviors for so long. And so he's like, if you start trying to be, you know, speak better confidence, he said, it's gonna take a little while. Like you're not gonna just like magically be confident the next day. You gotta practice a lot, practice a lot.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So here's the thing, I'll tell you this. So I I tell people I have a lot of words. I love to talk. I'm very excited, I have a lot of energy. I've been called like human red bull more than once. And I'm like, I think they meant that as like a negative. I was like, thank you. Um yeah, I I have a lot to say and I get very excited. But how I used to speak, if I looked at it, I apologize to anyone that had to listen to me, because this is what I would sound like. I'd say, oh my God, guys, it's so exciting to be here. And oh, well, we're gonna talk about this. And I would just be my voice, the tone of my voice, the pace of my words, like it's like grating on your soul, right? But I didn't know. I was just talking. So I took classes, learned, oh, if I will slow down my words, drop the tone of my voice, statistics and factual data shows if you, especially females, if we drop the tone of our voice, people listen more and they take us more seriously. And how do you know? If you listen to any woman that is on the news, you'll see in here they have a deeper tone to their voice. They drop their voice when they're talking about the news. There's a reason for that. Because if they're like, hey guys, we're here, the weather's gonna be great, you immediately think that they're an idiot.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So things like that. So I learned, oh, I don't have to say every word that comes in my head. Let's take all of those words and put it into a sentence, just one sentence.
SPEAKER_02Pause.
SPEAKER_00But it's practice. It is. It's practice.
SPEAKER_02Uh yeah, it is. Well, it's like anything else. Like when I started boxing day one, I was like super awkward and weird. I was like 35 years old, but you know, about three, four years goes by, like, I'm pretty good. I'm I'm getting okay. And that's how it's my journey with uh communication things been too. Honestly, that's why I said yes to the podcast too with my wife, because I was like, you know what? It will force me to get better at communication. It will force me. If I do a thousand podcasts, there's no way I'm not better after a thousand than I was when I started. There's no way, it's impossible. And so that's another reason I started.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And the same thing with I teach people about like marketing their businesses online, speaking on camera. Um, and they're just like, I don't know what to say, I don't know where to hold the camera. But once you know, you know.
SPEAKER_02Do you think confidence comes more from what people say about you or from the promises that you keep to yourself?
SPEAKER_00100% the promises you keep to yourself. The exterior validation is nice, especially when you're first trying something and you're a little unsure about things. You you need kind of, I tell my clients, I'm a very like I'm a I'm like an aggressive cheerleader, right? I'm gonna give it to you straight. You're not gonna like a lot what I say, but I'm gonna be there to root for you and cheer you on at the same time, right? So I'm gonna help build you up so you build your confidence, but I'm gonna give you, I'm gonna give it to you straight, what you're doing wrong and what we need to do differently. But that internal and where I truly believe confidence starts, and they say, how do you become self-assured? How do you and it's being very clear about what you want. And so what that looks like, like I have a framework that's in my book, and it you walks you through what do you want? And I just simplify it to four areas your health, wealth, relationships, and joy. Because here's the thing, if you don't know what you want, what you're working toward, how do you know what to say no to? How do you know that should I go over here? Should I do this? This person says I need to do this. You're and that's where that anxiety builds and that stress. But when you're really clear, no, this is what I want in life, here's the path that it takes to get here in all these four areas, it's very clear am I am I going the right way? Yes, I can feel good about that. Immediately you can breathe. And when someone says, hey, we should go and do this, well, I know I can say no to that because that's not that's not in line with what I actually want. It makes it very easy to to know when to say no. Now another thing that people have a problem with is is saying no.
SPEAKER_02I'm I'm probably one of those people. Uh I'm better now. I'm definitely better now. But uh, you know, for a long time I that was definitely me for sure.
SPEAKER_00Well, and it's probably because you have a very big heart and you're you're a good person because you want to help. And I tell people this, you you want to help, and guess what? You can't. They're asking you for help. That's something that you know how to do and you can do it. So you're gonna feel bad. Like they need my help and I can help them.
SPEAKER_02That's kind of how I always felt. And then I also would trick myself into thinking that convince myself I could do way more than I could. I would just like in my brain, I'm like, I can handle it. In business and everything, starting other businesses, doing too much, uh, and just thinking I'm gonna do it and tricking myself and then just a couple months go by and I'm like, Why did I do that?
SPEAKER_00So Yeah, you overwhelm yourself. And so I teach people say no is the default. You can go back and say yes later. So my big thing is maybe.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_00Because you need to give yourself time, a pause to think about something. Some things are a definite no. And so one of the things I teach is how do we say no in a way that is that we feel that's kind, that's still helpful, right? Because I'm one of those people, I want to help people, and they come to ask me for business advice all the time. And what would I do? Oh, absolutely, let's get on a call and I'll dive in and help you. I was absolutely overwhelmed, taking on too much, and it's like people started like sucking the energy out of me. Yeah, and not because they were trying to do it, because I didn't set the boundaries. And how do I say that absolutely I'd love to help you for what you're needing? I think this program that I have is truly the best. You know, this is what it does. If that doesn't work for you, great, I would start with X, Y, and Z. I hope that helps. I had to learn to limit because I can help. And so I tell people for my my big-hearted people that they want to help. You've got to learn how to say, you know what, I really appreciate you coming to me for that. I would love to help you. Here's the ways I can do that. This, this, or this.
SPEAKER_02Good advice. Because I now that I'm on social media, I have a lot of people that message and I respond to a lot of people. I've gotten on phone calls of people, probably shouldn't say that on this podcast. But I again, I just try to like help as much as I can.
SPEAKER_00Uh well, and when you're first starting out with this, yeah, you can't.
SPEAKER_02But it's getting to the point where yeah, I I I now I feel bad I can't help all the people that need something.
SPEAKER_00Well, and so, but you'll start to learn you're gonna probably get a lot of the same inquiries, the same questions. And then that's like start making content. How do I either create content on that or how do I make that a course? Yeah, a training course. Maybe it's a 60-minute. This is the same question I get all the time. Like I have my business builder blueprint. How do I start a business? What does it look like? Business builder blueprint. These are the three things you must have or do not start the business. This is where you start. Because they're like, I want one-on-one coaching with you. I'm like, you do not, no, you're gonna waste money. Yeah, and you're gonna waste my time. You're not there, you're not there. You're not there. So go watch this first. Work on this. And then here's the thing. If they're willing to watch it and work on it and do that, then I know they're actually serious and are worth my time.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. No, it makes sense for sure.
SPEAKER_00So something like that, I would like go through, okay, what are the same questions I get? But in general, people again saying no, it's it's a practice. It's a practice because like anything else, okay. How do I say you're gonna practice saying no? You know, and I say when you say no, no, I'm not available. Thank you. And you say it with a smile, I'm not available at that time, but thank you.
SPEAKER_02My wife's pretty good at it now.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I know she is. Your wife's awesome. Uh I love her.
SPEAKER_02But she, you know, in the beginning, like it would stress her out too, because she would commit to all that stuff, and now she's really good at like just really staying focused, and I'm not quite there yet. But it she she's good. Like, uh look up to her for being that good and and focused on what she's trying to do in life. Why can someone be extremely intelligent but then also be a terrible communicator? There's a lot of people out there that are really smart that I know, but not good communicators.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I work with a lot of them in business. So they want to have a business and they're really good at what they do. Let's say they're really good at doing roofing, they're really good at a landscaping, they're really good at yoga, they know the entire body. Like they're so good in their craft, they're super intelligent in their area, their specialty.
SPEAKER_03Yep.
SPEAKER_00But they don't know how to talk about it. They don't know how to to speak because that's not it's an area, it's a trained area. Have you ever taken professional speaking classes? Have you ever taken professional communication classes? No, you haven't. So you're expecting yourself to be an expert in that area and you're an amateur.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you almost have to say, remember when you day one when you started your roofing? Day one.
SPEAKER_00Probably didn't know anything about what's the difference between this shingle and this shingle and what is underlayment and what is flashing and why is flashing important?
SPEAKER_02And 10 years later, you're a roofing expert.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and you're certified in this and certified in this, and communication's the same.
SPEAKER_02It's like you gotta just always practice at it. Yeah, I was I was that person. Like I was really specialized in stuff and knew a lot of things, but never practiced communication and uh, you know, avoided it if I if I could.
SPEAKER_00Well, and I'll tell you one thing whatever and whoever's listening, one thing that you're avoiding, that's that's the key to your success. So if you're avoiding something like communication, I say literally like mentally, turn your shoulders toward whatever it is and be like, I'm going to master you. And and take the classes, take the courses, and you're not gonna like it and you're gonna grit your teeth through it. But then guess what? You start to get better at it. And then you're like, I actually kind of like this. You don't have to love it, but it no longer controls you. Whatever you're avoiding controls you.
SPEAKER_02Yes. And so with It controlled me a hundred percent. Absolutely, a hundred percent.
SPEAKER_00And now you're communicating more, and guess what? You're owning it.
SPEAKER_02My life got better, yeah. Like just in general, just everywhere, not just my business, but uh everything my wife and my kids and people I know and relationships and that everything. It's awesome. I love it.
SPEAKER_00Building confidence and I teach people to build confidence in their business, but it it it permeates through their whole life. And I'll give you a couple examples. One of the gals that I taught, she was so proud to come to me that she was able to walk into a car lot and negotiate her own car lease. She goes, I've never done it before. I would always be scared to death, I couldn't speak up. But because she took for her business, you know, learning how to speak confidently, she was able to do that. Another client, amazing design client, we taught how to speak about her business, how to network, what words to say, we would role play. She was able to go to an event, see a guy, have a conversation. She actually asked him out. She's like, I've never asked anyone out in my life. They're together to this day.
SPEAKER_02Awesome.
SPEAKER_00Um, so it's one of those that yes, I taught her confidence in her business, but how much more, how much better is their personal life because they learn to speak up and be confident in who they are. And like for me, that's everything. Like the ultimate goal of what I'm doing, I want you to be confident in all areas. I want you to be able to speak your words and be yourself. But if I have to start doing that through your business, we'll start there.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I used to tell myself all those years, I'm like, oh, I'm just not that guy. And I'm just a behind-the-scenes guy in my business and good at good at this, this stuff. And so I'd always convince myself. And so just practice that for so many years. And I knew to hopefully uh impact traditional education in some way, shape, or form. Like I had to have some type of influence or or something for this long-term goal. I couldn't just be like the business operator behind the scenes. It would be ultra hard to make that much of an impact. And so I have to get good at it. And so that's you know, the podcast, and then just practicing and talking to people like you and learning from people and just doing it a lot of times and feeling super weird on camera at first. It's weird, but that helped a lot too, just like doing it every single day.
SPEAKER_00You know the number one reason people don't like themselves on camera and don't like the sound of their voice? Because it's unfamiliar.
SPEAKER_02Because when you hear first serious voice, even if it's not on camera, if you just hear a recording of your voice, they're like, I sound like that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you're not familiar. So if I played a movie over here and it was Tom Cruise, and you don't have to look at it, but you just heard his voice. Would you know it's him? Yeah, because it's familiar. And you can leave a you can envision him running, right? You can envision, you know, what he looks like because he's familiar. You just have never watched yourself like a movie and listened to yourself like a movie. When I'm talking right now, how I hear it in my head is different than when this podcast will come out, what it sounds like. But I'm so used to hearing it. And now I see myself on it. When I see myself in the mirror, and I was a model and worked in TV for years, what I look like in the mirror and what I look like on TV and in print is completely different to what I see in the mirror. Does that make sense? Yeah. So when you become familiar with yourself, that's the first exercise I have people do. At home, no one else is gonna see it.
SPEAKER_01Record yourself.
SPEAKER_00You're gonna start recording yourself with your phone and you're just gonna talk about what you're doing. Well, today I'm going to go through my house and I'm going to do the laundry and I'm going to cook myself some steaks.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_00And then what there's three things, and you probably know this from some of the uh speaking coaches that you follow. It's a very similar process you're not going to watch it. You're just going to listen to yourself. Put your headphones in and listen to yourself talking. I want you to get your brain familiar with you. So you know the sound. Like, is that me talking? That it's like, that's me.
SPEAKER_02Whenever I first started, that was really difficult. Seeing, you know, the first podcast. And uh, but over time, I don't even see it that way anymore. I'm all I only notice the things that I could do better. So e even when you're practicing for the events now, like I record them and I'll re-watch it and I'm like, oh, okay, I I need to not say X, Y, and Z. I need to I pause too long there, I'm using too many filler words, and so I like watch it like game film a little bit now. But I don't see the like I don't have that self-doubt in my head anymore. I watch it to try to fix it. And and and I I think where that came the where I got the most practice was one early on when I first got on social media, I interviewed somebody that was doing millions of dollars per month on social media, and he gave me some advice and he was telling me it was like just it was almost the same exercise you said, just do your Instagram stories all day long. Like like he's like, just talk to the camera. Hey, this is what I'm doing. Maybe it's your real estate stuff you're doing, maybe it's your podcast, maybe it's this. And I just did that over and over, and I'm just like watching myself and then rewinding them and watching them, and I did that so long, like I'm like, okay, now it doesn't bother me at all. And you also get a lot of um good feedback from people, not necessarily on the way you're talking, but just you see a lot of people start messaging you and communicating with you, and you're like, oh, okay, when I said this, it made a lot of people reach out. And then when I said this, it made it, you know, when I said different things, it like sparked somebody saying X, Y, and Z. And then now that we have actual product, um, I kind of over those years like know how to pitch it on the stories. I'm better on stories than I am on like the reels and all the other stuff. And so now I'm focusing on like, why can't I just do what I do on my stories on my reels? And so I'm just now like this week, I'm really like making it a point to not do more scripted videos. And I was like, I just need to make it like my stories because I'm so good on there now. And even my marketing guy said that he's like, you're so good when you just like answer questions on your stories. And I actually like doing that the most. And so I'm I'm gonna start really just trying to make it more like I'm I was doing that and not so scripted and not trying to build the perfect like script and to what I'm talking about.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, they just want real.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, they really want real.
SPEAKER_00And again, with AI, that's gonna get more valuable. Can I just get on here? Can I just talk?
SPEAKER_02Hey, by the way, you're already seeing it. So the raw stuff, the the over-edited stuff is actually performing worse. We see it because we post so much now. So the over-edited, over you know, done stuff is like performing worse than like you seeing somebody just talking or or you know, and it and it depends on the content too, but you already start seeing a lot of it. Like that's going back to like the old YouTube like vlogging days kind of thing. That's where it's going.
SPEAKER_00Well, and so what I love to teach is just like, okay, here's a framework for good guidance on how to speak that people can listen. Like, again, don't talk like this. Tonality, pace. Once you learn those basic things, then you just get on and you're you you're not thinking about those things anymore. So when people first try to get started, it's I don't know what to do, what to say, do you know, how do I start? Do I look at the camera? Do I not look at the camera? I struggle with that bad. Like all of those things, there is a framework that I teach. You just follow through this, practice it, practice it, great. And then it's like I can tell you as an expert, be like, you're good. You got this. Follow this. And that's going to give you the confidence. Okay, I'm holding the camera in the right place. I, you know, instead of having the light behind me, I have the light on my face. Go to a window, right? Like little things that you can learn. But once you understand that, you understand that now you're you're solid, just like you. You're you're so good at it now because you know the.
SPEAKER_02I don't know if I'd say that, but I'm I'm I'm I'm a hundred times better than I was when I started.
SPEAKER_0099% of the success is being willing to get you know up to the plate and swing the bat.
SPEAKER_02Yep.
SPEAKER_00And you're doing that.
SPEAKER_02I've always been good at everything in my life doing that, always been good at taking action. But for some reason, the one thing that I was telling myself was, oh, I'm just not that guy. And it was everything else in my life, like I would, there was nothing that could stop me. There were I would take action on it that's the next day, and then I would learn as I go. And that was the only thing for so many years, probably until I was 40 years old, 42 years old, that I would just kept telling myself, I was like, Oh, I'm not like my wife. Like, she's just outgoing, I'm just not, like, we're just different people. And uh, it's not true.
SPEAKER_00It exactly. And when you realize that, then you're like, what else am I telling myself that's not true? What else do I believe? And it's like this deep work exercise. What else do I believe that's just not true? And so, and what things have people told me that I believed that was true? So I'll tell you this, Sean. When I was younger, and I tell people, embrace the negative things that people tell you because that's probably your superpower.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00So for me, it was Julie, you talk too much. You're too loud, you have too much, you track, you attract too much attention. I remember being told those things, not by my parents, but by teachers, you know, even in business. And so I thought, so then I was like, wait, wait a minute.
SPEAKER_02Right, because you're just pee everybody's telling you this. And if you would have bought into it, and it would have been a bad thing, it would have been a good thing.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but I'm like, okay, okay. So here's the thing. What if it's true? What if it's true that I talk too much? What if it's true that I'm too loud? What if it's true that I attract too much attention? Where is this an asset in the world?
SPEAKER_02Where's it useful?
SPEAKER_00Sales, TV, marketing. I'm like, okay, well, then that's the path that I'm gonna, and as soon as I start down that path, it was rewarded. Yeah. It's rewarded to, I can go talk to anyone. That was rewarded. I'm gonna get a little loud. Well, it's great when you want to present in front of a room. You know, I attract a lot of attention. Great, that's marketing. Come listen to what I have to say. I have something to sell you, right? So it's it's one of those things where sometimes when we think of this negative thing, you're like, yeah, yeah, sometimes I talk too much. That's part of my superpower, right?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00It's a different, it's a different mind shift. And so that's part of what I help some of my clients talk about, like, do is like, yo, but maybe you are. So let's use that to your advantage.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I tell so now that we have younger students and teens and young adults, whenever all the stuff they think about their self, whenever I meet them and they're like talking to me about different things and they're telling me about their life, I already notice like two or three things that they would be good at because they're like good at certain things that I by them telling me about their life, telling about their stories, what they're interested in. They don't see it. But I am like, man, he'd be good at doing this, and and she would be really good at doing this. But it for them, they don't see any of that at all.
SPEAKER_00If they haven't got the life experience to see where they fit in the world. And I love, again, what you're doing is because they don't know where they fit.
SPEAKER_02I was lost. I was that kid. I'm gonna I it's a preventable problem. And so I feel like if you can add a lot of these things, communication definitely being like at the top of the list, um, you don't have to graduate and and know nothing. Like you can be, you can know, you can have a lot of real world experience before you graduate, and that that's kind of the whole mission. What's the biggest communication mistake that you see a lot of people make?
SPEAKER_00Not communicating.
SPEAKER_02Okay. It's pretty simple.
SPEAKER_00Not communicating. You're hiding. Why are you hiding? And that's what we dig into. There's a reason that you're hiding, and until you confront that beast, whatever it is, big or small, and and a lot of they're not clear of I don't I don't know who I am, so I don't know what to say, so I'm not communicating. We're gonna help you figure that out. We're gonna help you figure out well, what do you want? What are you into? Because in it's not about what I think you should do or what your parents think you should do or what society says you should do. What do you want to do? And even adults that I coach now they never even ask themselves because they've been pre-programmed, this is who I am and this is what I do. Let's let's take that pressure off and let's nobody's expectations, not your spouse, who they think you are. What do you what do you really want? What do you really want to do? What is what is something that's unique to you and maybe you think it's weird and you're even judging yourself? Let's let's go. There's a no-judgment zone. Nothing. We're just gonna write it down. Because there's power behind when it's in your mind and you take a pencil and you put it to paper.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I was never good at doing that when growing up.
SPEAKER_00It's part of the exercise that I teach. And I can tell you there was a girl at an event, it was a fitness summit that I spoke at, and there was a woman in there, and I went through the framework and exercise, and she came up to me afterward, and she was shaking. She's like, I wrote something down that I've never even told anyone, not even my my husband. I and she's just like like I'm like, You're gonna breathe. That's good. Here's the thing, you're still safe. Like she was so you could the anxiety, you're safe. You just wrote it down, nothing has changed, but now it's there, it's in existence, and we're just gonna let it sit there next to us for a while, whatever it is. Right? Long story short, she wrote down that she wanted to be a pilot. Okay, she was an airline stewardess, never told anyone. I think it was like a month later she messaged me on Instagram and said, by the way, I just want to tell you how empowerful that was, and I want to tell you I'm in pilot school. I mean, I get goosebumps every time I talk about it. No, and I'm gonna not get tears because I'm not a teary person. She's in pilot school, and then a couple months later, she sends me another message, and it's a video of her flying with her instructor. And it was just like I remember seeing that, and then yeah, the tears, because that is why I do what I do. Is like she held on to that for years and never told anyone. She had shoved it so deep down inside that it just wasn't even a possibility. And because I was willing to put myself in front of people, face judgment, and speak what I know, she was able to go and do this. And so that's where when you're like, I'm afraid, it's not about me. It's not about how I look or how I sound, it's about that person that I want to reach. If I had not been there, would she would she keep that stuff down forever and never even see what that looks like?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's pretty crazy how certain things happen in your life or somebody else's life, that like one thing changes like the the the trajectory, I guess, of of what you do.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, we always say there's you're one decision away from a completely different life.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I would I would agree with that. What do you think it means to communicate clearly?
SPEAKER_00Knowing what you want to say. And as someone, again, I had all the words. I could literally talk all day and probably just so many words all the time. Right. How do I communicate what I'm trying to say clearly? Is a practice that I still today have to remind myself because I get very excited. When I'm talking about something I'm passionate about, my words speed up and I get really fast and my my my tone goes up and I'm like, oh my God, we should do this. And like I literally start moving my body, right? And I have to, okay. What is it that I want to say? Because too many words, no one's going to listen to what you have to say.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, what is really gonna like land with somebody.
SPEAKER_00And that it is a skill. It is a skill you can learn. Like in your academy, they're teaching your teaching skills and communication is one of them. How do I deliver my message effectively? And what I loved about your event you had for the kids of getting up and pitching and presenting, they they they don't get the practice of doing that. And when they do in school, it's very hard because they're doing it in front of their peers, and that is so hard for them. It I it was hard for me. I remember sweating palms and presenting like this in class.
SPEAKER_02Me too. And you're talking about something probably that the teacher told you to talk about, so you're not even really confident talking about it. It it's such a weird thing. And then you only do it one class or or a couple times a year, and so you're like, you're always overthinking, like, oh my god, I don't really want to go do that at that time.
SPEAKER_00And they never taught you any presentation skills.
SPEAKER_02And if you get up and talk, you're like if you did it every day, like that's one thing I'm I'm building a school for my kid, and that would be I mean, they would do it every day. Like we're gonna practice that every single day, bring in different communications experts, like we're gonna like this will be one of the number one things we teach, but if you do it every day, it would just become normal. And if you do it once every three years, like your course you're just gonna be scary as shit. Uh and that's what happened to me. And so uh I do think that school d does a really poor job of like giving you, I guess, one speech class maybe in high school. Um, and so everybody hates it, and then you do get up and like scared because you're talking about something that you don't know nothing about. Nobody knows told you how to do it. They're just like, hey, get up and talk. And you're like, uh, what do I do? Like, I don't know. How do I how do I say it?
SPEAKER_00Exactly. And that's what the speech classes, I'll say this, is they don't teach you that okay, let's do the first thing first. Let's what your body language, the tone of your voice, the pace, pausing for impact. You know, they don't teach you those parts of speaking. And so, like those basic frameworks, you get up there and you're like, oh, I uh I remember the I mean one of the kids turned around and his back to you when he was talking, and I was like, I didn't get a chance to work with him. I I know, but but he he didn't have a chance because it was last minute. But the point being is that when you teach them those things, he'll know them forever. I know.
SPEAKER_02I uh one of our very first pitches, I had this kid on the phone, he was amazing. And he was like you. He would talk, he would talk really fast and he was he was really excited. And we were it was like two days before our presentation. I'd been working to get everything ready up to that. And I was like, okay, we were on one of our final ones uh a couple days before, and I said, This is gonna be really tough because it took me uh years to get rid of this. But I said, I just want you to understand that whenever you're talking really fast, you try to say um in between the sentences to try to get to the next sentence because you're going so fast. I said, if you can pause and just not say that and then go to the next sentence, I was like, it's gonna sound so good. And I said, But I'm I just want you to be aware, I'm not saying you're gonna fix it overnight. Because it's hard. It's like you're so used to doing it for so long. And that kid went up the next day and like just crushed it in any one first place. But he was saying um like every other sentence, but he just I don't think anybody ever even brought it up. And I said, Look, it took me years and years and years to like even improve. So I'm not expecting you to improve by Friday, but I just want you to be aware so you can, you know, start to improve on it. And he he I don't even know if he said it all. So he went home and he practiced and he was aware of it. That was really cool.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and they and they build the confidence in doing that because now he knows what to do.
SPEAKER_02I think he'll remember it forever. I I probably would remember that forever, and now he's gonna probably always be aware of it and probably just get better and better and better. He was already a pretty good communicator, a lot of energy, like smiling and happy. He just he was talking too fast and at it. I was like, I don't think it's gonna land as you know, I don't think they're gonna uh grasp it as much. And so I told him, I was like, it's uncomfortable, sounds weird, but just pause, wait till you get to your next line. And he did a really good job at it. It was really cool.
SPEAKER_00I'll tell you this people that think identify as shy, right? I had one of my clients, probably one of the shyest people that I've ever coached, to where I would be on a Zoom with her, right? You're you're in a box, and I learned to read body language really well via camera. And she literally would be her, oh hi. Like she was so shy, her hands were covering her face when we're talking. And so talking with her on the first call and be like, Okay, listen, can you do me a favor? Can you just drop your hands? Because you have such a beautiful face and I'd love to see it. I got her to drop her hands and just look into the camera. Right. I'm talking about extreme shyness.
SPEAKER_02I was kind of like that. Yeah, I I get where she's coming from.
SPEAKER_00But just so you know, within 60 days, she wanted to build a marketing company. Okay, and so what is the process of doing that? And I'm like, how do I get her to go into a business and pitch them? This person that can't even look in on the camera with her full face through a process, and I'm so proud of her. Got her to go to her local bookstore. Like, what's the safest, what's the store you love, the safest store that you go to? Got her to go into there, and we practice the words she would say. And I said, You're gonna go in there and do you like to help people? Yes. I said, You're gonna go in there to help them. That's what you want to do. You're not selling them, you're not pitching them. They need your help. Look at their look at their social media, look at their Facebook, they're not doing anything, but you know how to do this. Wouldn't you want someone to help you with something that you don't know how to do? And like mentally getting long story short, I got her to walk into her local bookstore, talk to ask for the owner, show them, hey, look at me, I want I could help you with this. Have the conversation, start working with them. And she came back, she's like, land on my first client. I I did it, I got my first client. And then we're talking extreme shyness. And so when you when you have it, just know if you identify as I'm shy, great. You know what? You can be shy and still go out and build a business and talk to people.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I wish somebody so bad would have worked with me similar to that in school. Like when I was when I was that early on, like give you the things that are gonna like the the the tactics. Like, give me the yeah, because in speech, I remember my first class, they make you get up in front of everybody and introduce yourself. But if they taught you what to do before you had to do that, you probably wouldn't scare the shit out of everybody. You could it's like, hey, before we even do any of this, this is actually how you do it. Yeah, that would have been great if somebody would have like told me how, then you be like, oh, okay. So that's what people on the news do, and that's what you know, good speakers on stage do it's like, oh, that makes sense. And they probably learn the same way, right?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, exactly. Or like, hey, you're really right now, you're really nervous. If I told you to come up here, you'd feel nervous, you'd feel sweaty, right? So, right, just we're gonna talk about what that feeling actually is. And that feeling is the exact same as excitement. So I need you in your brain to say, I'm excited to do something new. And then you go into what's the last time you did something new? What was fun? What was so fun about that? Okay, so that same thing is excitement, right? So you're nervous, yes, but your body is just excited. That's all. I want you to take you're not nervous, you're excited. Yeah. Like mentally when you get excited, something's happening, your body reacts the way it feels right now because it's ready. I don't know if this is a safe thing or if I'm getting ready to fight a tiger. That is literally the you know, reaction your body's building up. Okay, so how do we let our body know we're good? There's no tigers, we're safe. It's actually through your breathing. And so it would go to a class and be like, we're in right now, gonna practice calming our body and telling our body we're safe. And it's gonna make you feel a lot better. And then it's like you breathe it in, hold, and we're gonna just exhale while we drop our shoulders back all the way out. And we're gonna do that a couple times. And then afterwards, you absolutely feel better. And I teach people how to do that in networking. I'm standing in front of you, networking, and I'm scared to talk to you. There's a secret. It's so nice to meet you. I'd love to hear more about your business. Ask a question. So then they start talking and you smile. I'm breathing in, breathing out, and they have no idea that I'm calming my nervous system right now. But that's exactly what you're doing. So little things like that you learn of, oh, I do it to this day. I speak at a lot of places, I do keynote speaking, but I get excited. My body gets very excited. And I'm like, right? And it can make your voice go up. It can make my voice sound tight. Okay, but how do I calm that down? And I'm like, breathe. Or like that sounds stupid. But then you do it and you're like, oh my gosh, it works.
SPEAKER_02I I started, I I mean, I know I did it, but at the event on Saturday, I started out a little bit fast. And then I was like, wow, my dude, like, just calm down. It's like just the same information, but I was starting out talking a little bit fast. And um I I don't do the that same breathing technique. Nobody ever showed it to me before.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02But I've learned to like tell myself, okay, just like I realized I was doing it. And it's like, slow down, same same information that you've been practicing all week. Exact same thing. And people aren't gonna, I'm telling myself, people aren't gonna understand what I'm saying if I'm just if I'm talking so fast. So it's like slow down, nothing crazy is gonna happen. It's all gonna be the it's all gonna be okay.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. And again, it's really focused because we get so focused on ourselves. Yes. And I had a a speaking coach when I first started because I'm like, I talk a lot, I've done sales and but I've never done a keynote speaking event. So I hired a coach, it's very different, and I was really nervous about it.
SPEAKER_02Hold somebody's attention for that long. Right. Like that's that's hard.
SPEAKER_00Taught me how to do the talk, how to write it, what is the flow and why I love the data behind why you do it in the way that you do. But then I'm like, okay, I'm you know, I'm I'm good. I'm feeling a little nervous, right? Excited, I'm excited. And she goes, Julie, let me ask you this. Are you nervous when you coach people? I'm like, never. I could do it in my sleep. I she goes, all you're doing is coaching from stage. That was it. That one sentence changed it forever. I'm never nervous when I get because I'm just coaching them from stage. Oh. That's easy because it's all about them, not me. Not about do I look okay? Am I presenting it right? Am I pitching it correctly? Right? It's it's that mentality switch of, oh, I'm here to pour in to coach you guys. Who needs me? And the one thing actually, Tony Robbins years ago, you know, you watch him.
SPEAKER_02I read I I read the books and stuff.
SPEAKER_00He's he's really big when presenting to rooms specifically. He's like, not everyone there, you're not there for everyone. Because when you speak on stage, you want to share and you want everyone, everyone could use what you have. Not everyone is going to love, you're gonna have a few.
SPEAKER_02That bother, I I overthink that too. Like I think my what I still overthink the most is like, I in the back of my mind, I'm like, I don't feel like I'm providing enough value every time I'm talking, even on the student calls. I'm like, how can I like I feel like it's like I gotta provide the most value as possible? And if like one person is not, I guess, maybe engaged or like I don't feel like they're understanding what I'm saying, it freaks me out. And I start like, okay, I'm not providing enough value. Even when when the Saturday and the events I've done, I like overthink that before I go. Are they gonna think it's valuable? Everybody there, that's what freaks me out now. Yeah still, I say I overthink that big time.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And so it's just a mindset shift of not everyone there is ready to absorb what I'm telling them. What I have to offer is not the right fit for everyone, even though I believe it is. Everybody's story is different, everybody's in a different place. So I'm gonna get the timing. I'm gonna get up and I'm gonna speak, but I know for the few people that I am really going to resonate with, that's what I'm there for. Then there's gonna be the handful that, okay, this is interesting, right? Then there's gonna be some that are like, oh, it's okay, you know, whatever. And then there's gonna be some of this was stupid, what a waste of time. If you'll say, I am okay with having the people that think it was a waste of time, the people that are apathetic, the people that I didn't resonate with, so that I can reach these few that I actually will make an impact in their lives, then I'll get up there every time.
SPEAKER_01I gotta practice that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I'm not d does that make sense. No, it doesn't. And it was actually Tony Robbins that I learned that from on some random video. I was like, that makes because I'm like, same thing. Oh, I I didn't, I wasn't able to reach them.
SPEAKER_02And yeah, that's how I I I worry about that so much. And you know, Tyler, me and him are communicating before up to the thing, and we're working on the material and stuff. And I'm like, man, I don't know if this is enough value. Like I that's what I kept saying. He's like, Sean, it's good, I promise. And he's like, the last one, it's almost like we we tried to give too much value to everyone. And so he's like, I I don't think it landed the way that it should have, is if we include all this other stuff.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and that's in your events too, is I used to say, I'm gonna pour so much in.
SPEAKER_02I did that for the first uh the second one for sure. I I was like trying to do, I I probably like overcommunicated too many things and made it not land with as many people as it probably should have.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And that was one thing that I have to learn, and I still do this day is it's like say less. How can I say the same thing in the least amount of words?
SPEAKER_02How can I make it as simple as possible? Right. Simplest is like go back, make it more simple, go back, make it more simple.
SPEAKER_00To where you're like, this is too simple.
SPEAKER_02That's how I feel. And then, but it's probably the right way to do it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Well, and so I'll say this, you know, my my daughter actually had the uh pleasure and opportunity to pitch at your one of your events. Did amazing, by the way. And it was a little bit last minute, and she was a little bit of like, what do I do?
SPEAKER_01A little bit more than last minute.
SPEAKER_02It was like a uh last hour.
SPEAKER_00Um But it was the same thing. And if you saw what she did, amazing. It was simple, it was less words. It was getting up, you have 15 seconds for your initial opening statement, you have 30 seconds per slide, and 15 seconds for your closing statement. That's it. Because it was two minutes, right? It was we're not gonna run over, we don't need to go into every detail. This is a practice pitch. And you're gonna say this and this and this. And it was very powerful. And me being a speaking coach, you know what I didn't even know? Because at that point, I was just there as her mom, right? She didn't even deliver her last line. And she, I didn't even notice because I said you delivered it with so much confidence that no one even knows you screwed up.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it was great.
SPEAKER_00No, but nobody knows it. So you didn't actually screw up, you did amazing. Yeah, but you know what I mean? Like because she delivered it with so much confidence and her pace and her tone. I mean, it's just one of those things you learn that skill.
SPEAKER_02Why do you think that sometimes people talk for five minutes, 10 minutes, and you just don't seem to understand anything? So if somebody's talking, talking, talking, and it just doesn't land like it should, what do you think they're doing in that situation?
SPEAKER_00Uh well, I'm an expert in that because I talk a lot. So and I'm sure there's times often that I'm just talking and like Where you're not rambling?
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Like how how can you make it land with the audience? Like what what are what are some things that do to where you're not just rambling off on the left field and then people aren't really getting anything? You talk for 10 minutes, but people probably understood none of it.
SPEAKER_00Well, there's a pace of what you're saying, but then engaging your audience, asking them questions, right? So if you're presenting, how many of you have done this?
SPEAKER_02That's what I didn't do enough of.
SPEAKER_00How many of you have done this just like me, right? Or the the statement as someone who, as someone who, so I'm now relating. There's the difference between ordinary to extraordinary, is what we teach. I'm gonna teach you that I'm ordinary just like you. We're we're on the same page, but there I'm also extraordinary because I have this solution for something that is a problem that you have too, right? And so it's that ordinary, as someone who struggled with communication, as someone who wants to show a different path for my children, other than you must go straight to college, and I struggled with what to do in these areas, I know what it feels like. That's why I created XYZ to help you. So you don't have to go through the same thing that I did. Right? And then you're you're talking about it. And then does this sound you know, and then you're you're going back and engaging with the audience. And what's really great is we want to be as storytellers when we're talking. Tell the story that relates to the point you're trying to make. Never tell a story without making a point. And never try to make a point or this is why you should do this without adding a story to it, because we remember stories.
SPEAKER_02That's what I needed to get better on because I in my Instagram stories, I was good at telling stories. And then when I would post content, it was like scripted, but there's no stories, there's no like relatable stuff, and then you know, the stuff that I have started working on and actually telling a story because I just wasn't good at that either. Just the same thing, but I'm learning that that's how people connect with somebody and that's how they relate to something. And it's like, oh, I that happened to me too, and I felt that way too. And I was good throughout the day. It just when I came to like a uh, I guess in my head, like, oh, scripted information or whatever, I wasn't telling any stories.
SPEAKER_00And uh here's the thing, you big difference. You don't know what you don't know.
SPEAKER_02I know learning.
SPEAKER_00You just you learn it, and so show kindness to yourself through the process. And so now you're gonna be like, tell those stories, those this the silliest stories, the the ones you think nobody's gonna relate to this. You know, tell the stories where you screwed up. Boy, you know what? This one time I messed up so bad. You know, like mine is just like I got fired on my very first day trying to sell real estate. Okay, how many people are out there in real estate? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, you go to the open house. I thought I was, and then you go into the story. And then what is the lesson behind that? How does that lead into what I'm trying to get them to understand?
SPEAKER_02The point that I'm trying to make.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And so, but that self-deprecation, and you know, you're my age, we we've had a lot of battle scars and a lot of stories we can tell. That's on. And so there's an exercise that I do is a hundred stories, and you just brain dump a hundred stories out from, you know, you can go through your phone, you can go through photos, go through high school pictures, and you're just dumping. You're not judging the story, you're just dumping them all out. And then how can I go through those stories afterwards and how do they relate to something I'm trying to teach? And it's really powerful.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. You know, now that I really think about it, my wife is just amazing at doing that. And then making a point, but like tying it to a story. She's just always been good at it. But that's why a lot of people relate to her so much and they like her. All these women that that that follow her and buy from her and the cult that she built is uh it's all just because she's super normal and doesn't, it's not all proper and polished, and she's a makeup artist that gets on screen with no makeup every day.
SPEAKER_00And yeah, like and women want to see that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, she's definitely not uh um fixed up anything. Like every once in a while she'll get fixed up, but she goes goes and tells them I woke up and I'm you know, bags under my eyes and I'm looking crazy and like just everybody relates to her.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so here's the thing. And I, a female, who would I want to follow? The the Instagram person that's always perfect and made up because I know that's not real.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And here's the thing I don't relate because that's not me. Whereas your wife and what she's doing, she gets up with her kids and her hair's in a bun and no makeup. I'm like, yeah, I look the exact same right now, and I'm in here, but I'm also a businesswoman making things happen. Like I can relate so much more to that person. Yeah. And we talk about talk about things that have nothing to do with your business. Because they want to see the real you. And you do a really good job of that, Sean. Because, and again, here's the thing: I'm a mom. So, yes, I love you for business and all the things that that you do. I love hearing all about that. And I'm a real estate investor, you do really good on that. But you know, the ones that I stop and watch the whole thing for sure is your cuties, right? Because it makes you real.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00Here is out there, okay, business, all these things, but I relate, like I want to see another, you know, husband and dad out there just doing life. And it's some people, like you said before, you're really private about those things. And I I am that person, I'm very private about my personal life. You won't see, they always say my husband is a ghost. I'm like, he likes it that way. So it's it's out of respect for him that I don't. Now, uh, you know, in my kids, I'm like, I want them to have like they're older when I started doing social media. And then they're teenagers. I'm like, okay, we're not gonna have you on there because I just want to protect you a little bit. Now that they're older and they're on social media, okay, now if you want to be in mine, but I just was always protective that way. Um, but in the world of social media, every everything's on there now.
SPEAKER_02So Yeah, I want to give them the skills that I mean, whether they're on camera or not, or they want to be or not, like they're gonna have those skills to deal with all that stuff. So I don't I don't mind putting them on there. I mean, um, again, like I that's my life, and I like talking about those things. I like talking about stuff I'm learning and parenting, like talking about real estate, I like talking about businesses, and they're a huge part of my life now. And I've dedicated a lot of my life to not doing so much business and not doing so much real estate and trying to teach them. And so I I I put it out there.
SPEAKER_00No, I think it's great. If I had little ones, I I would as well. It's just that by the time I started coming on, it was like, okay, you're already teenagers and you're already very, you know, unsure about yourself. Let's not have this moment put you on the internet, you know.
SPEAKER_02So why do you think so many people are so terrified of public speaking? Because I I mean, I was like this. You almost would rather die. Like dying feels like I would probably rather die than go on stage in front of a hundred people and try to give a talk. Like I in my head, like it almost was a better thing. And I think a lot of people feel that way. I mean, they they've I've I've heard them tell me that.
SPEAKER_00Statistically, you are 100% correct. Listen to me, people are more afraid of public speaking than dying, than death, which is insane because I don't want to die. I know more there they more than being afraid of spiders or heights, anything.
SPEAKER_02This is the feeling, I guess.
SPEAKER_00It's the judgment of being judged. That is the number one fear, being judged.
SPEAKER_02What if they're gonna say this about me? What are they gonna think about me? Or what if?
SPEAKER_00Absolutely, yeah. What uh they're gonna do this, I'm gonna screw up, what if I fall down? And so I literally have an exercise that helps walk. It's it's literally a decision making. It's it starts off, what if I did? And this is something you can do at home. I'm so afraid to get on stage. Okay, why? What if I did? And then what? Go speak on stage. What are the pros? What are the cons? Well, okay, let's do the cons first, because that's where our brain immediately goes first. People could laugh at me. What if I I could trip and fall? Um, I I might stutter over my words, I I um I might feel embarrassed and my face turns red. Like, what are all those things? Right, write them down. Write them not on a computer, write with a pen on a paper. Once you get all that out, all the fears, all the okay, great. Now we're gonna set that aside. Now, what would be the pros of getting on that stage? Well, I could I could help more people. They could learn about how I could help them. I could sell my product, I could make more money, I would be able to hire an assistant if I at least got 50 people to buy. Um I would have my first talk under my belt and hopefully survive and and be able to do it again. Like, okay, all these things.
SPEAKER_02Change somebody's life like you did. Yeah, change somebody's life.
SPEAKER_00Right. I would live out my purpose. Like you just do all the pros. Okay, you can just leave those there. Then we're gonna go back over to the cons. And next to that is the, you know, the uh solutions. Okay. Um, I might trip and fall. Okay. Is it 100% true that you are gonna trip and fall? Well, no. Okay. So what can we do to prevent that? Well, maybe I don't wear heels and I make sure my pants aren't too long so I don't trip over them. Maybe I, before the event, I go walk up to the stage and I practice walking it so I I I know where the steps are. Okay, so okay, check. Do you think we can do that? So that's no longer an issue. And you literally go through. Okay.
SPEAKER_01You you're prepared. You prepare.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So it you go through and you you essentially prove yourself wrong, which can be hard because no one likes to be wrong, but that's what you're doing. And so you go through that exercise and you will be surprised when you do that. You're like, oh. And one of the biggest questions, is this 100% true? Okay, well, what if I stutter over my words? Okay. Can I keep talking? Have I ever stuttered before? Yeah. Was I able to keep talking and people understood me?
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00And I will tell you, when we were watching some people talk, and people are worried about stuttering. And they go up, and I said, Look, look, look at the speakers. The best speakers repeat their words. They might stutter, they might say the wrong word, and then have to start. That's normal. Let's let's have that as normal communication. Stuttering is not bad. You didn't make a mistake. It's a normal part of communication, so we're gonna take that out. Great. I'm communicating. It's normal. It's not a bad, you know what I mean? You you you break it down like that, and then when you do that, you realize like, oh, this mountain of an issue I thought I was gonna have. It's just a little speed bump. You can handle speed bump.
SPEAKER_02I always had a like a physical reaction. That and that's what made me nervous. It's like what happens to the brain when you get up there and you're you know, you're nervous in front of the group because that's what happened to me. I wasn't worried about tripping, I wasn't worried about falling. It was like I'm gonna get so whatever I can't even talk, I can't even get my words out. My hands are sweating so bad. Like it's like a it's like physical. And then I would start overthinking that. It's like, what if that happens up there? And so then it just made it worse and worse and worse. Because I started getting panic attacks when I was super young. Yeah, no trauma, no nothing. Just like, I don't know, I was like 12 or 13. It was really weird. And so then I'm like, what happens if I get so nervous that that happens up there? Or then, and then that's what would like keep me from always wanting to, I guess, be better at communication.
SPEAKER_00Well, and in presenting specifically, that's where the two things come in handy is focusing on who am I trying to help in that room, take the focus off you. I am I am teaching someone from stage, whatever mentally, I am coaching them, I'm teaching them from stage. Right? It's about them. When you have a communication with someone, you sit down, you're not nervous, right? It's just a bunch of them. And I'm gonna teach them. It's not about me. They don't care about the sound of my voice, they don't care what I'm wearing. If they do, they they've got other priorities in life, right? It doesn't matter. I'm gonna teach these people. Then also the storytelling. So a lot of times we have all the slides with all the words. We teach, put a picture. So one of the presentations I do, it's about me getting fired on the first day I was showing people real estate because I was so terrible. Um, and it's a picture of a girl on a step like this, with like a box, like she just got kicked out of her office. And that's the picture. So there's no words to memorize. The next slide, that picture comes up. And I can say whatever words I want.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's easy to tell the story.
SPEAKER_00This was me uh getting fired. Anyone else here been fired before? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's a good that's a good idea.
SPEAKER_00It's just a picture. And then there's no words to memorize. There's no, like, okay, I have to follow this. And so when the story part, tell your story.
SPEAKER_02Because it's just comes out a little bit different each time. That's how you tell stories anyway.
SPEAKER_00Exactly. And it comes out very natural because I'm not trying to, but I know the story because it's playing in my brain. Right? And no one knows if I added a part of the story or I took out a part of the story because it's my story. And so then the next slide would be the words. Here's why, here's what you learned from that, and here's why, and here's the factual data. Making the point after the story.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00And so that's one way we teach presentations because when you're in story mode, you get freedom.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it makes you more comfortable too, because you are it's something that really happened to you, and you're not like you're not rehearsing something that was memorized because it's like really happened. So you're like, man, I remember whenever I was this happened, and it was 10 years ago and it was terrible. And so I can see where that make you more comfortable, just like if you mix that in with like a PowerPoint presentation or whatever presentation you're trying to make.
SPEAKER_00Well, and people process photos, I think 6,000 times faster than words anyway.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And so, like for you in your story, you could put a picture of you when you were younger.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00That that is emotion, your impression, you like it connects with you. And you're like, guys, this was me. And when you went into your story about when I was this age and I did this, this is what I struggled with. And it's just that photo of you. And anytime you just look at it, because you you're gonna know that story.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And then the next slide is your here's the points we want to make for that. So anyway, that's what I teach people to do as far as like when you're speaking and you're like, what are my words? When you're telling your own stories, your words are natural.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, the picture thing, that's a good that's a that's a good point. That would make it really easy. Yeah. Why does slowing down someone make someone sound so more much more confident?
SPEAKER_00You're giving the other person to absorb the words and the meaning behind what you're saying. So sometimes I used to think the more words I say, the more value I'm giving. But all I was doing, think of it like someone's brain like a sponge. You can only absorb so much at one time, and I'm just pouring buckets into like the tiniest sponge, and I'm like, if I just pour more, well, they can only absorb so much, but then it's all convoluted. But if I take a cup and I pour this one idea in it, they have the chance to soak it up, absorb it. Then I can give them the next idea. Because that's what I used to do. I would think, I'm just gonna throw so many words and so many things, it's gonna be so much value. I'm like, I don't understand why they didn't buy. I don't understand why they didn't love what I said. It's because I just I overwhelmed them. So you slow down, pause, let them absorb what you're saying. And one thing that I teach, again, I could go we could go on for hours because I teach. Is end your sentences on a downtone. And it's especially my females that do this, that they're like, and so we're gonna go and do this, and then we went here, and I think that it's really good. You end up like a question, it it it causes uncertainty in the other person's brain. But if I said listen, so if I said to you, hey, listen, I can help you, I coach businesses. But if I said, listen, I can help you, I coach businesses. Yeah, you're like which one's more powerful? Which one lands? Yeah. You know, if you're like, I can help you, or if you're like, I can help you. See the difference in tone and delivery? Those are the kind of things that we teach. And it's once you know it, you know it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I agree. What's the best thing someone can do when they lose their train of thought in front of an audience or in front of a group or or anything? How how can you get over that when you lose your train of thought? Like, what do you do?
SPEAKER_00Honesty. Depends on on what the scenario is.
SPEAKER_02Like if I'm on stage, I guess, and I'm like, you just completely, you know, maybe you're paying attention to something else. Like, what do I what do I do to get over that?
SPEAKER_00Humor is always good if you can flow with that. I'm talking with you and I'm just like, you know what? I'm sorry, you know what, guys? I just saw a bird fly by the window and I completely lost my train of thought. You know, like, yeah, the the whole squirrel, yep, just did it with a bird. So I'm sorry, where was I?
SPEAKER_02I had own it. I had six Starbucks this morning and I don't even know. Messing me up.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. You know what, guys, I got two hours of sleep last night. So I am here and I love you guys. I've had three coffees and I'm ready. So sorry about that. Where am I?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And then try to And then and then you just go right back into it. So you don't instead of like, oh, um, uh sorry, oh, where was I?
SPEAKER_02Oh, and then you feel like you start overthinking it because you're like, oh, I'm messing up. And it makes you.
SPEAKER_00Well then it's like, do they need you to be perfect?
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_00No. So quit putting the pressure on yourself, be perfect.
SPEAKER_02You just want people to relate, really, I guess.
SPEAKER_00And isn't that relatable?
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Big time.
SPEAKER_00You know, I I would just say, like, I let me be your your jester. Let laugh at me. Yep, yeah, got up here, screwed it up. Welcome to Julie.
SPEAKER_02What do you think makes somebody interesting to listen to?
SPEAKER_00Their stories.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00The animation, right? There's a bit of entertainment when it comes to speaking in front of people. And there's different ways to do that. Get excited. If you're excited about what you're talking about, like, oh, everybody else, like, oh, we're excited here. What are we getting excited about? Right?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00But if I'm like, hey guys, listen, these are the steps to build your business. Uh step one, we're gonna start with this.
SPEAKER_02People are falling asleep.
SPEAKER_00Oh my gosh. But if you're just like, I am so excited to show you how to build your business, it is so easy. I'm gonna show you in three easy steps. And by the time you are done with this, you're gonna walk out of here knowing exactly what to do. Y'all ready?
SPEAKER_01You're like, yes.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, let's go. Let's go. You gotta be a little bit upbeat, be excited about what you're talking about.
SPEAKER_02I've since I've been preparing for the only the handful of events I did, in my mind, it's starting like I'll sit back and think something like it's almost like you have to be an actor, but not in a way that I'm not a person that I'm not, but the emotions and stuff on stage. Like if an actor is like when they're speaking on a movie, like every scene's different, and so they're not monotoned, but if they're trying to, it's this bad scene and everybody's sad, like they can go and act super sad. The same thing with like excitement and stuff. So it's almost like I'm sitting telling myself like you have to be an actor on stage. Um, you're still saying all the same stuff and you're still the same person, but like your emotions have to be acting a little bit, like you're an actor.
SPEAKER_00Well, so how I teach it is who do I need to show what part of me needs to show up?
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02It's I guess that's a good way of putting it. Yeah, that's what I mean.
SPEAKER_00It's like Yeah, which part of me needs to show up? Because the mom at home in sweatpants with my hair in a bun, and I'm cooking and cleaning. That's not the energy nor the type of person that I they want they need from me. Again, it's always about who you're speaking to. What do they need from me? And it's all inside of you. You're never pretending to be someone else. You're just pulling out different parts of you. I like to call them invisible hats. When I am with my children as mom, they don't want Julie Gracie, business coach. Um, let's talk about sales and presentation. That's that's not who they want, right? That's not the hat I'm wearing right then. When I'm with my husband and I am just wife, he does not need professional Julie, you know, talking about business or mom. Like he needs wife. Um, and so how do I show up and bring those best parts of me to that? And the same thing when you're talking with people is what do they need? They're already life is already tough. They're there because they have a problem.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00And you're solving the problem. So be excited about helping them. If you're not excited about helping them, they're not going to be excited about getting the help. So a little bit of that, a little bit of energy.
SPEAKER_02I know it's that's what I have to tell myself. That's like that's what's hard for me, too, is because you know, I am a calm kind of person and and always just laid back. And but if I'm if I'm on stage and I want the message, Selena, like I have to tell myself, okay, you have to get super excited, you have to do this, you have to uh be emotional about certain things. And so I've been that's what I've been working on.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. That's tough. Yeah. Well, just again, it just takes practice.
SPEAKER_02I know, I know. And it again, watching myself and then going, oh man, I probably should have been way more excited. I should have been more emotional at this part, and just watching it and like, okay, I can do these three things better. And next time I'll try to do it and just get a little bit better and a little bit better.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and that's exactly kind of like what you said with your with what you're teaching these young, um, these young students of that's how it works. Yeah. It's no different than what adults like, it's not like I'm too young. No, I'm teaching this to adults. There's no reason you can't learn it now. Yeah. Because, you know, you talked about how, you know, with degrees, I was listening to one of your podcasts um with a gal, and she said 7.7% of uh jobs actually need a college degree. And so what about the other 90, you know, 2.3%? And a lot of those skills, like even my husband, he's in a corporate and he's doing a lot of hiring. It's not about the degree, it's about the experience and the skills. Communication is one of those. So no matter what you want to do, you have to learn to communicate with other people.
SPEAKER_02I had the um Jim Keyes on last week, and he was a former CEO of 7-Eleven and blockbuster and stuff. And he told me a story when he got out of college. He he came to Houston because he had an interview at Gulf Oil. He's like, I didn't know anything about oil. And I convinced them to hire me solely off just my communication with the guy. He's like, Why are you even applying for this job? And he said, I convinced him that like I was the person for this job and I was gonna figure it out. And I sold him. And then he you know, of course, kept using that communication and he's CEO and you know, president, then CEO. Um, but he literally said, I just I was able to convince people of stuff and and sell them on and communicate really effectively.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I believe that sales skills are the number one skill to learn.
SPEAKER_02I do, I do too. Uh I tell when parents ask me what their kids should be doing, I'm like, honestly tell them to start a service business because if they're 16, they will learn all the skills you need in life from doing that service business. You have to go get rejected by a bunch of people, you have to talk to people, you have to figure out what is gonna land with them. Like you have to figure out how much stuff costs. You know, manage people if you do hire somebody and you have to be able to uh lead a team if you get to that point. But those skills that you get will like serve them, you know, later in life, whatever they do, it's all the same. And then the number one is sales and communication for sure.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely. So my oldest daughter, when she was, I believe, a sophomore, it might have been um in high school, she's like, Oh, wow, I'd really love to have my own clothing store. Okay, well, instead of spending $500, $1,000 a month on maybe gymnastics, I said, okay, I'm going to spend that much on having her learn to build her own business. Great. Let's do it. Well, what do you need? Well, we'll go ahead and put you as a DBA under my business, right? But okay, you need to have a store to sell. What does that look like? Well, that's a Shopify store. Okay, well, you need to market where you do that. Social media. This is how you create social media accounts. This is how you market. Okay, this is how you get a wholesale license. She went through all of this while she was 15, 16.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, amazing.
SPEAKER_00And so it's not that I was like, oh, she's gonna have like this huge store one day, but let them, the things that she learned. But price, like you said, pricing, wholesale. But what are the comparisons? What are other people selling a similar sweater for? What should I price mine at? Customer service, the emails, marketing, how do I talk about it?
SPEAKER_03Following up and following up.
SPEAKER_00Okay, now I gotta an order. What does that mean? Okay, the money comes in and I gotta package this and I gotta print the label to ship it, and I gotta take it to the post office. There's so much she learned just for the few years that she did that. And then she was like, I'm getting ready to go to college. I'm done, you know. I'm like, great, we can shut this down. But you know what I mean? Like, those are the kind of skills you want to teach them. She learned so much from that skills that now serve her today and all the things she's doing.
SPEAKER_02Always, no matter what you end up doing.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Why do you think people are so uncomfortable with being on camera? It's the camera thing.
SPEAKER_00It's the camera.
SPEAKER_02It's the camera. So I did it. I when the you're talking to your friend, everybody can talk a lot. We're talking talking at dinner, you're talking a lot. And then when they turn on the camera, it's like you're staring into a black hole and like you you lose your train of thought immediately. And that's and and most people are like that that don't talk on camera, and I don't know what it is. Like, why do you think that is?
SPEAKER_00Because you're staring at, I'm like this camera here. I'm staring at a piece of hardware. I'm not staring at a human face. My brain does not recognize another human. I just see this camera. It's looking at me. It's very in your face. One of the tricks that I teach in my academy for confidence on camera academy is print out a picture of your best friend. Print a picture, a picture of their face. True story.
SPEAKER_01And put it on.
SPEAKER_00Cut it out, put it behind the camera. And what you're going to say is you're not going to look in the camera, you're going to look at them, and you're going to say their name. So, my best friend, her name's Nell. So if I was looking at this camera, I'd be like, hey Nel, I want to tell you about this. What it does in your brain. I'm staring at a face. My brain recognizes a face that's familiar. Immediately I'm relaxed. And I say the words Nell, my brain knows, oh, you're talking to your best friend. There's no need to be nervous. So I'm just going to talk to her and I'm going to have more inflection in my tone. Because when you talk to your friends, you're like, what's up? How you doing? Oh my gosh. Did you hear about this? Hear all the tonality? You're going to naturally have more inflection and tonality and speak more natural because I'm talking to my bestie.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00Right? And I know it seems like a simple trick, but it works.
SPEAKER_02I struggle with that a lot. And um one of my for a new business we launched, uh my business partner is a doctor. He's a good friend of mine. And he is so good at talking to his patients and so good at communication and so good at explaining stuff. But when we turn on the camera and tried to have him shoot videos, he's still to the point where it's just like mind is completely blank. Zero. Like, I mean, he's a he's a good talk, he's he's he's good at talking, he's good at um communicating with his patients. Like extremely good. But when you turn on the camera and we try to put that on camera recently, not good. And he's got, you know, he's we I I need some tricks to to give him to help him get there a little bit faster 'cause he, you know, he doesn't have the time to practice. He's seeing patients all day.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Okay. I've I've worked with these guys.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_00Okay. And I'm going to give you, I'm going to give you an example of a solar company. It's the same thing. When they would try to record an agency, someone I knew that an age agency, marketing agency in California, I knew him and he just was like, hey, by the way, I have this client. I'm afraid I'm going to lose him because his videos aren't doing well. Because I can't get him to talk on camera. Like it's so flat. So I got to look at him. Problem was, number one, they had him sitting down. If you immediately want to add energy, stand up. What happens when you stand up? Your shoulders go back, your chest fills with more air, you can move. There's you're more natural. Immediately to add more energy, stand up. Okay. And then the other thing, I was watching him, and I said, let's jump on a call. Put him on, just put him on a call. His videos, he'd be like, okay, sitting like this, and be like, okay, so the best thing that you can do with solar panels is to do this, and this is why. And you're like, no one want no one will ever watch that. It's boring. So when he got on the call, he was walking up to a job on his phone, walking. The trees, there was movement in the background. He was moving, he was talking, and I was like, that's exactly what you're doing. Do not sit at the table anymore. The energy coming off of this camera right now, and I'm like, now you're gonna get up on a roof safely. I want you to do your videos from the roof. I want you to do them from the actual field. No more sitting in an office. And that was part of it is like talking, move movement. Get them talking about something, but get them to move their body.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And that was a huge thing, and views went off the charts.
SPEAKER_02People, if you watch my stories, people probably think I'm crazy because I'm walking around the whole time. But that's how I can't sit there and like just talk to the phone like this. But I'm like walking around my house, I'm like, you know, moving my hands and like talking, and that makes me feel I got I just have more energy, number one. And I can just think about like everything comes to my mind. And I don't know. I'm also not one of those people that can when I first wake up, like I have to start doing something. Like I can't just like sit there and not do anything. And so I'm better like moving around and not just like talking to a camera.
SPEAKER_00Well, it makes the video more dynamic. We talk about dynamic of just like I'm gonna sit and talk and the the background is static. When the background's moving, think about it. We're so distracted all the time. And I'm scrolling. How am I how are you gonna get me to stop? Because it's again and again and again. And then I see you, and you're you're just like, oh my gosh, have you seen this on this roof? You're oh my God, he's standing on a roof. Is he okay? Yeah. And they're automatically, yeah, you're and the guys are banging on the roof. And like my roofing client that I took from zero, very beginning business from zero to 1.7 million, her first year in business. I was like, get on that roof and start recording. And you to this day, she's up there, look at these shingles, and I'm just always like, she's just standing on a roof talking to a phone. Are you safe? You know? Um, but it's so much more dynamic.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, instead of a business owner sitting in front of a logo behind their desk, like trying to talk about their business.
SPEAKER_00Hello, let me tell you about the world of roofing. No one wants to watch that. Like, entertain me, show me where, you know what, my guys were supposed to do this. She just did one. My guys, thank God the homeowner actually called it out because we missed this. Like she owned it, we missed this. And the homeowner told us we are so grateful. We love partnering. We ripped all of this up, we're gonna redo this. You know what? Sometimes you make mistakes, but it's how you re-like she it was the best video. She's so good now because she knows what to do.
SPEAKER_02Hey everyone, real quick, I just want to let you know this podcast is 100% independent. No ads, no sponsors, just real. If you're finding value in whatever we're doing here, the biggest help that you can give us is hitting subscribe and sharing this with someone who you think needs to hear it or someone that it will provide value to. That's how we continue to grow. And if you did that, I would really appreciate it. I know we talked about this a little bit earlier was why do you hate people? Why do people hate so much watching themselves or listening to themselves back on camera?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, because you're just unfamiliar. You can fix that by just, again, listening. Like I said, go through your house, record yourself, listen to your voice, get really familiar with the sound of your own voice. And that's how I learned like, wow, I sound terrible. Let me fix this. Because I was just like, Okay, whoa, okay, we're gonna slow that down, we're gonna drop our tone, right? But not in a judgment way of like, okay, how can I make this better, just like you do? And then you're gonna turn the volume off and you're just gonna watch yourself. I talk with my hands a lot, but I learned how to talk with my hands properly. Elbows bent, this is the space, but I used to talk like this all the time. And I would just be like a look insane, right? Because I just I'm excited. Okay, so now I watch myself. Okay, Julie, calm down the hands. We're gonna go here. And even now, when I'll do some of my group coaching calls, I'll watch them back and I'll be like, okay, we're gonna have one cup of coffee, not two, before we get on camera with our clients. Because one client, I was just, I was, I was moving and I was, I was excited because I was teaching them something and they were loving it and they were really getting impacted. And I was like, this is great. And I started, I was like, okay. And so, um, so then I have humor. The next call we get on that, I'm like, hey guys, hope you got the last one. I said, guys, I watched that back and wow, yeah. So just so you know, I've only had one cup of coffee this morning, not two, so hopefully. But I'm just so but like you just have humor and grace with yourself.
SPEAKER_02Um That was my next question. Is like when somebody watches herself on camera, like what should they be looking for or listening to herself, what should they be looking for?
SPEAKER_00You cannot grow at the same time you judge yourself. You have to really remember that before you watch it back. You cannot grow and get better while simultaneously judging yourself. So it's a practice. I'm not gonna judge myself. All I'm gonna do is with the framework that Julie teaches, my tonality, my pausing, my body movements, my eye contact to the camera.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, not what I'm saying. Just all those things.
SPEAKER_00We're just it, yeah, I'm watching for those because I can't help myself get better if I'm also judging myself, and that's really hard. But sometimes that's why it's good to have a coach that goes through. So you're like, I don't want to watch it back, I'm just gonna send it to you, and then you tell me what I did. Great. And if that's where it starts, because it's really painful, then that's why you have a coach. It's like, okay, I'm gonna watch it back. I'm gonna give you notes on what to do differently next time. You don't even have to watch it. If that's where it needs to start, then that I wherever they they are, that's where we start.
SPEAKER_02I think a lot a lot of people I did have a mental block of hiring a coach for for actually speaking because I just never associated it with that. I was always but I but I realized one day I'm like, I hired a coach for to get better at boxing, I hired a coach to get better at XYZ. Like my whole life, I'm like hiring a coach to get better at everything, other things, but not speaking.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and you expect yourself to be a professional.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and it's like it even even whenever your people are at a high level, whether it's an athlete or anything, they have some coach that has got them to that point, or they've hired another coach that's even better when they got to a certain point. And then even when they're at the very, very top of their entire game, they still have a coach that's like it's like getting them better and better and better.
SPEAKER_00Everyone that you look up to has had a coach and mentor, everyone, every athlete, not just one, and not just to learn the the joke was always imagine being Tom Brady's quarterback coach. What do you do? It was always the joke. And it's like, oh no, I guarantee Tom Brady very much needs his quarterback coach. Yeah, you know, you're like, what do you teach the goat? You know, but it's it's everyone needs a mentor. And here's the thing if you don't have one, that is that there's if they say there's no shortcut in life, yes, there is. It's called a mentor. And so any area you want to grow, I'm I'm a coach, I have coaches because I know the value. And so for someone like you, what is the impact you want to have? Is it monetary? Is it, or maybe it's both monetary and the impact that you have? Well, then how dare you not have a coach to make you better because there's people out there that are suffering and they're gonna continue to suffer because you did not step up to the plate and make yourself better in order to reach them. That's on you. Right? And that's how you you hit people.
SPEAKER_02You're like, Yeah, I overcame that, but and I then I was like, well, that is so stupid that I didn't have a coach. I was like, I was trying to get better at communication. I was like, that should have been the first thing that I did because it would have gotten me over the hump instead of overthinking it all the time.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but with anything you want to do, a mentor. Just get a mentor. They can they can make big strides for whatever it is you want to do. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Somebody that's already walked the path that you're trying to go. So super simple. It's like human nature. It's like when somebody you learn from somebody else that's already done it, it's like all of a sudden it clicks. Could have read a hundred books, but like when somebody else teaches it to you, it's like, oh, okay, that makes sense. How important is eye contact with the camera? So it depends. If I'm getting recorded, I again going back to just being on camera, people are uncomfortable. When you turn on the camera and your thoughts go blank, what do they do with their eye? Like, where do you look? Do you look always directly at the camera? How how do you do it?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, because sometimes you look at the direct camera and it's like this deer in the headlights look.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um, so like if I'm talking, I'm speaking with you and I'm looking at the camera like this, right? And I can look at you and I can just be like, well, and it was, it was great. It's okay to glance away and come back, right? 'Cause it's just to just look at you the whole time is challenging. Um and when you're doing like your phone, you can just walk and talk and you're talking and you're talking to the camera and then you're kind of looking off and you're talking back to the camera.
SPEAKER_02All of that is I kind of do that. And that's how I get my thoughts too. I'm like, oh, you know, the other day, um, and it makes me think a little bit, and then I look back at the camera like I'm looking at somebody, and then same thing.
SPEAKER_00It's kind of like well if you're talking with a friend, you know, I'm your best buddy. Yeah, you're nuts. And you're chatting, you're not just sitting there staring at him, you're just like, oh my gosh, dude, what happened? And you're looking back at him, and then you're talking and you're thinking.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And then you're talking.
SPEAKER_02It's like, oh, you know, the other day, I, you know, I thought I was gonna go do XYZ. Yeah, that's true. What do you actually tell somebody that says, What do I do with my hands?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So I actually made a whole course on it's like it's it's a picture of a crazy lady, like, what do I do with my hands?
SPEAKER_02Is it the Ricky Bobby? Is that the show where he's like, uh, put him on camera and he's like, uh, do I, yeah, what do I feel like? I think everybody knows that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's that's what it feels like. But it it's a really about body language, and it's just really simple of how do I stand, what do I do? So, really simply, and I'm not gonna stand here, but you always want to show your hands. The real simple thing is when you're talking, just bend your elbows and have your hands like here. And you can do it.
SPEAKER_02If you're standing up and you're on camera, yes, you you know, you don't want to just stand like this and like you never want to put your hands behind your back, right?
SPEAKER_00Looks like you're hiding something, and you don't want to put them in your pockets. Now, sometimes if you're talking, you're doing a presentation, you can, you know, you slide a hand in your pocket and you're talking like this, that's fine. But when you're networking or you're presenting, your hands are here. They're real simple is like chin to belly button, here. This box. Okay. Now, if you're pointing to something up here, you don't need to go up here. You can simply do up here. Right? Keep your elbows in. But it's it's right here and you're talking. And sometimes you put your hands together and I'm nervous, it just stretch them, relax your shoulders and just the space right here.
SPEAKER_02How much should somebody prepare before turning on the camera? Because I think I struggle with this. I think a lot of people do. It's like, do you script stuff? Do you how much do you memorize? Like, how much do you not memorize, especially in the beginning when you're first getting on camera to talk as a business owner, as whoever? Like, what what do you do? What's the framework? What's the steps that you take like day one?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so I tell people your there's three parts to any video, just like there's three parts to any presentation. It's really simple. There's your hook, your value, and then your call to action.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_00Right? So your hook is that opening statement. It's the most important part of your talk because if you can't get their attention, they're not gonna listen to anything else you say. That goes for social media, that goes to presentations. Right? So that hook, that first part that you say, you want to have that memorized. What it what are you saying? Now the value, a lot of that is story, and stories can just go, they can flow. And then the end, you just you got their attention with the hook, you're telling them what you want to tell them, and then the call to action. What should they do with that? So when we talk about social media, for example, it would be like, do not hire a roofer until you do this. If I'm scrolling and I practice with my clients, they'll have them and I'll turn my face from camera when we do Zoom calls, and I'll just have my phone and pretend like I'm scrolling. Okay, deliver the hook, deliver the hook, and they'll be like, so today, nope, scrolled and they'll be like, okay, um, they're like, today I want to, nope. And they're like, I want to do this. I'm like, oh, what? Like, okay, it has to be when I use AI to help me like with hooks, I actually tell it to be aggressive. That's the one word I type in. Because if you are not like, I gotta punch you in the face to get your attention, they're not gonna land.
SPEAKER_02Well, especially nowadays on camera, it's just so much content and people are so used to like just scrolling through. And I think, like you said, when being on a roof, it's like, oh, wait a second. And then they say, Don't hire this until you do this. Yeah. Or don't hire a roof until you see this. And then you're kind of like, oh, it's on the roof. Like, maybe I should listen to him.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Or she's up there and be like, I almost fell through this roof.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Then you're gonna stop for a second.
SPEAKER_00But why? Why'd you almost fall through the roof? And then she's like, Listen, this one, the decking is all is rotten. This is really important. When slow leaks get in, it will rot your roof without you even knowing. That's why it's so important that you get an inspection. The great news is we offer free inspections. So click the link below, book us for a free inspection. We want to make sure that no one falls through your roof.
SPEAKER_01Yep.
SPEAKER_00Dun dun dun. See, I just did that on the fly. That is a good message. So, what was at the beginning? How do I cook? And then make sure you have the call to action. We do these, click the link. That's the call to action. That's what I want them to do. I want them to click the link and book a free inspection. Right? So that's how it is. Even in a presentation, like you're presenting to your groups, you're gonna start up talking. And if you're like, today we're going to learn about this, immediately I'm like, Oh, I'm gonna be here forever. But powerful question, powerful statement out of the room, you know, into the room, boom, I got your attention. And like, like my daughter's presentation, again, making it in the car on the way there, I said you have to start with something that gets your attention. And it was, what does every business in America need?
SPEAKER_01I did, I want to listen.
SPEAKER_00But that was a hook. What does every business in America need? More leads. And it's a question, it's a powerful question. Everyone's like, Oh, what's the answer? More leads. And where are those leads? On your phone.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_00Right? That is a powerful opening. Then what was she able to do? She was able to refer to the slides or tell a story. And then the last statement, the c last statement is small business owners work really hard, but people cannot buy from them if they don't know who they are. That's what I do.
SPEAKER_02So it was hook body call to action. Yeah. When people are first starting, do you recommend memorizing a script or of some sort? Like how how much should be scripted when they're starting to be comfortable like just actually making a video?
SPEAKER_00Here's the thing, you don't need to remember anything. And you're big into AI, so here's what I would do. You can go in there, tell uh AI about your business, what you do, and tell it to make, you know, 50 aggressive hooks for your business. And so it's gonna tell you. So you have a sheet of paper that no one needs to know that it's there. So you can look at it and says, you know, don't, you know, don't uh don't get your roof done until you hear this.
unknownYep.
SPEAKER_01And then you can always edit in the room. So then you can see it.
SPEAKER_00And then and then I get my camera and I'm like, don't so I don't need to memorize it. I looked at the paper, don't, you know, hire someone for a roof until you hear this. And the great thing is, is editing. All I need to do is deliver that. Then I'm like, okay, I got it. So I could actually go through all of the 50 of them. I'm gonna cut out, I'm gonna not use 20 of them.
unknownRight?
SPEAKER_00I would say the goal is to get like a month's worth, but I'm gonna do 50. And I'm gonna go through in different parts of that. I'm gonna just go through what was the next one? Cross it out, notes, next one, and I'm gonna record all those hooks. Got them. Now I can go through the body. Like you can you can chunk it out like that. Now I'm gonna go through the body of what I want to say. Hey, listen, the reason you want to do this, you're gonna have a lot that doesn't you don't use, right? It's like getting photos done. Here's all the photos, but I'm only gonna use this many. Same thing with video, and then you can cut it in together. Um, and then your calls to action. What do you want them to do? Guys, listen, you really you know, we want to help you book a call today. Um, has this ever happened to you? Leave a comment and let us know. It's not always like constantly asking for that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Or some type of call to action.
SPEAKER_01Call to action, hey. Call it for more value, whatever it is.
SPEAKER_00I hope you love this. Hope you guys have a good day.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00Sometimes it's that. Right? So it's just it's just that formula. And once you understand it, it just becomes so natural when you're speaking.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I think a lot of people out there when when they do when you first start speaking on camera, it comes off like you're reading a script. Very like script feeling. And I think that that's maybe because you're trying to memorize too much stuff. I did it. I've 100% did it. Uh and then if we are, if we do have a longer thing and it is a teleprompter and it does sound like you're reading a script, so it's like you really have to. I guess what's the trick on not sounding like you're reading a script?
SPEAKER_00Tonality.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00Tonality.
SPEAKER_02Uh yeah, you're right.
SPEAKER_00It's like, okay, I'm reading the words and we're gonna do this. Okay, I'm reading the words, I'm getting the words out. That's what you're focused on. Instead of like, hey guys, I am so excited today to teach you this. Now listen, if you've ever done this before, do not worry. Because I used to do this all the time. All the time. It was bad. It was so bad. It was cringe to listen to my voice. But that's exactly why I made this for you. So, like, I'm we're buddies, we're talking.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's how you make a scripted video sound like a conversation.
SPEAKER_00It's a conver make it a conversation. And so again, I know it's a thing. Put your friends, put a bunch of your friends up there, and the reason you're looking at the picture in their eyeballs because you want your brain to say this is familiar. It'll make it more natural. Because if I'm like, hey, Sean, let me show you how to do this and we're gonna give you these three steps, you're gonna be like, this is horrible. But I'm like, Sean, so glad you are here. We're gonna, we're gonna help you today. And always remember there's only one person on the other end of that camera. So pretend like you're talking to that one person. You feel like you're talking to the internet, but the person watching it is one person. They're alone somewhere and they're listening to you.
SPEAKER_02Easier said than done on that one, a little bit. Yeah, especially when you first start. I remember like the podcast cameras are turned on, and I could talk about business for days. Yeah. About it, yeah. But I could talk to it for 10 hours. But when the podcast cameras turn on, I'd be like, what was I gonna ask? It's like it's like I'm staring into the abyss of something. Yeah, in you and you overthink it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you gotta remember there's one person, who is it? And that's why I always think of like my best friend, because with her, I'm very animated. I have a lot of tonality.
SPEAKER_02I am too, whenever you're with your friends.
SPEAKER_00You are yeah, it's like because you're just like, dude, what are you doing? What like you're more natural? And I would almost so one of the actually exercises that I teach is to over overextend it with your be extra high with your voice and down, like, oh my be very dramatic in your voice. And then deliver what you want to say because you're naturally, you've already you've just trained your voice to go up and down.
SPEAKER_02At what point do filler words become a problem?
SPEAKER_00If you try to eat an elephant all at one time, you're gonna be overwhelmed.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_00I want to build your confidence with familiarity, it goes first. And you just get familiar with your voice. I don't care if you say um a thousand times at first. Now, one of the courses in there is about filler words. And that is just a practice. I teach not to have filler words, I am aware of filler words. Guess what? I still have filler words. It's just, it's a natural part of speaking. And unless you're conscious of it, they creep right back in there because you absorb how everybody else talks as well. So understanding, okay, I'm gonna have some filler words, but can I have less? So there is that podcast host that I follow a female years ago, all on marketing. I loved listening to her at first. But it was so hard to listen to because she would say, like. So um, like we were doing this, and then um, like this.
SPEAKER_02Once I started Oh my god. Once I started down this path of recognizing what I was doing and trying to cut them out. Man, other people listen to other people. It's really because you're you're focusing on so much on you. So of course, naturally, when you listen to somebody else talk, you're like, Oh my gosh, so bad.
SPEAKER_00I don't want to sound like that, so I'm gonna be really aware of my filler words, so I don't sound like that. Because it's hard to listen to.
SPEAKER_02It is. My when my son was we first put him in school, I was teaching him all this stuff. Like, don't say filler words, like we're me and him are practicing every day. We're push-ups if you know he catches me, put you know, if I catch him, push-ups. Uh and it worked really well. And then his first day of I don't know what they call it, like open house where you go meet the teacher. This teacher was so bad. I go, Why am I sending my kid to this school? Like this, I've been I like what I've been working on for months and months and months. I'm like about to put him in a class. She says it every single other word. I don't know. It was I was like, what am I doing? Like that's that was definitely one of the points where I'm like, I can't send him a regular school. Like it it's just gonna defeat the purpose of all the stuff that I'm teaching him. Uh in hence wanting to create my own school for him. But yeah, I think once you start noticing it, it becomes a big it it stands out a lot more once you start noticing about yourself.
SPEAKER_00You can't unhear it anymore.
SPEAKER_02And so Yeah, it's it's tough. It's it's it's tough to oh, it's tough to overcome too. Easier said than done, right? It's like one of those things that uh takes a lot of practice.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and it's just an awareness.
SPEAKER_02That's what it is.
SPEAKER_00And I will get excited and I'll get laxadaisical with it, and then I'll notice. Oh, I put a lot of filler words. Okay, we need to go back and just like anything, I need to go back and check myself on these things. Pause.
SPEAKER_02Mine, I noticed is is good, good, good. And then if I'm around somebody that says a bunch of them, I'll notice myself start saying them. And no matter how much I've I pay attention to, it's like, what am I doing? It's like you don't talk like that anymore. And but it just creeps back, it creeps back in. It's it's interesting.
SPEAKER_00It's a perfect example of you are who you surround yourself with.
SPEAKER_02Right there. Yeah, it's true. You just subconsciously don't realize you're doing stuff. If if somebody's negative all the time and you're around them all the time and that's all you know, and you talk to them after you get off school or after work or whatever it is, you just subconsciously will start being negative too, because you it it's just how human nature is, I think. Absolutely. I tell our students that I you know, I I preach that a lot on social media. You know, I I think everybody's heard it enough from their parents, from their on social media now. Everybody says that it's like always a thing. But I think it lasted the it stood the test of time because it's so true. And it you know, it keeps coming back up on social media, it keeps coming up in books. Your parents keep telling you that because it is.
SPEAKER_00Well, and we you become very aware. Awareness is the first step in anything. Like the psychology world is the awareness of it, awareness of yourself, right? But here's the thing once you become aware of it, I'll get around people and in rooms, and you've done this too, Sean. I know, is you're so used to like we don't complaining is a habit, right? And being aware of yourself, where am I complaining? And the people that are around me are complaining. And when you take that out of your life, you own everything instead of complaining about it. I have what actions do I need to take? What are the solutions? Instead of just sitting around complaining, we don't do that. That's a victim mentality, we don't play that game. But then you get around people, maybe in an event, and it's just, oh, they complained about something. Okay. But again, and again, and again, it's like I cannot leave that conversation fast enough.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I hate it.
SPEAKER_00Because I don't want you to get inside of me.
SPEAKER_02I I I get a lot of messages on social media now, and I also make videos on I was like, and the fastest way to improve your life, like today, like tonight, before you the even end of the day, I was like, if you start having a solution-based mindset, you will change your life today. And if somebody a challenge comes up or a perceived challenge or uh, you know, a perceived problem, then if you just say, you know what, what steps do I need to take to fix this problem? Instead of just complaining, oh, you know, that like it's all it happened, the government and this, and that's how people talk. Yes. But if you just say, okay, very bad thing happened, what steps do I need to take to fix this? Like, how can I solve this problem? Like, what do I do need to do to not let this happen again? And so if they do that that day on everything in their life, whether it's a relationship or at work or their business or their co-worker or their son or daughter or whatever, it will improve their life in one day. I promise you.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Well, they said the fastest way to solve a problem is to decide it's not a problem.
SPEAKER_02Correct.
SPEAKER_00And you really when I first heard that, I thought about it like that is enlightening. You know, and like, for example, you know, my husband works too much, we haven't gone on a date, whatever. Okay, and well, I you know, I I want him to pay attention to me. Okay, and what are you gonna do about it?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, what's the solution?
SPEAKER_00I'll tell you what I'm gonna walk into his office and say, Hi. It's Friday at six o'clock, you're gonna meet me in the kitchen, we're gonna have a glass of wine, you're gonna take me to a dinner that I made a reservation for at 6 30, and you're gonna give me your time and attention and tell me I'm pretty and feed me. Deal? My husband's like, absolutely. Yeah, great. Did I just solve the problem? Well, but I want him to. Okay, well, now, now there's a whole different level of uh victim and and poor me. We don't do that.
SPEAKER_02My wife is very good at a lot of things, but a lot of times she would get like something would happen at work or some woman employee or this or that or a customer. And she would like hardly, you know, all day it's like eating at her, and she's like repeating it to all her friends, like, you don't believe that happened with this customer. I'm like, that's not a real problem. I was like, you know what a real problem is? Like if our kids are sick or like something that is unfixable, like those aren't problems. Like you're you're complaining about these, or you're you're putting yourself in these moods because you're complaining about all this stuff. It's like, that's not a real problem. Those are fixable things. Like, there's some things that happen in your life, in everybody's life, unfixable. And those are those are problems. That's hard. But I was like, all this other stuff is just noise. It's just, it's like you don't even I don't know if I got that from 26 years of getting beat down in business or where it came from, but it's really hard to make me feel like there's problems. It has to be really bad. Where I'm like, okay, this is a bad one. I don't like I really have to figure this out.
SPEAKER_00Well, you have to take a moment, reframe it. Because here's the thing what is the purpose of a business? To solve a problem.
SPEAKER_03It is.
SPEAKER_00So do not go into business if you don't like problems, because that is literally why you have the business. You just want better problems. What that is, I don't have enough customers. I can't pay my employees. Those are problems you don't want to have. We got to fix that. Now I have customers that are complaining about all the makeup that they bought. I can't have the deliveries for the shipment that was ordered. Those are good problems.
SPEAKER_02I used to tell her that all the time. I'm like, wait a second, hold on. Like you're this customers complaining about uh the whatever the color didn't match. I was like, you're doing millions of hours in sales. I was like, there's a shit ton of happy customers, like tons and tons, and you have one that complains. It's like, is it is it a problem? I don't like, I don't know. You're selling to tens of thousands of people now. Like it's you can't make everybody happy.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And that, but just like we go back to when you're speaking in front of an event, you really want to reach everybody. With you have it, you have to understand there are going to be people that are not going to be happy, that are not going to like it, and you have to be okay with that. And that's hard.
SPEAKER_02I overthink that a little bit. And then even on um, if if I'm even if I'm on a Zoom call with somebody and there's five people in there and I can see one person, like maybe just not really giving a shit, or their body language is like this. Yeah, and I'm like, I I it messes me up a little bit because I'm like, oh man, I'm not I'm not providing enough value for these people on this call. And I get in my own head, and I I do that at events too. Like if I happen to focus on one person and maybe one person out of the whole place is like staring off or something, or just kind of tell that they don't really give a shit. I it still bothers me a little bit. It's hard to get over. Uh no, I'll I'll get in my own head and and and feel overthink like I'm not providing enough, I guess. So it's still tough. Why is silence so uncomfortable for the person that's speaking a lot of times, especially when you start speaking?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, silence is uncomfortable for a lot of people. If you can get comfortable with the uncomfortable silence, again, that is a practice because you want to fill it with words because it's uncomfortable. If I put words in there, then that uncomfortable silence goes away. So this is also sales. This is sales. You ask the question and you pause. Then you wait. And that is really hard. That is a skill to practice.
SPEAKER_02Don't talk yourself out of the sale.
SPEAKER_00There's just like Yeah, because you're going to start filling in the words and you're going to you already have the sale and you're losing it because you keep talking.
SPEAKER_02Or you tell them the price. Oh, it's because of this. This is like, hey, it's 5,000. But but it's because we offer more than everybody else. It's like, it's $5,000.
SPEAKER_00But see, but then you just apologized when you said the word butt. No, I know you know this, but that's exactly what happens of okay, it's $5,000. But but you're already, oh, but then you're not gonna like this. You you're going with the wrong mindset.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's like you're you're now trying to justify your price because you think they're not saying anything yet. And so you're like, oh, but that's because we do way more and we provide this and we probably it's like they probably would have said yes if you were just shut up.
SPEAKER_00Well, and speaking of sales, we teach you say the price up front because what's what's happening in someone's brain? I'm gonna talk to you and I'm you're telling me all these great things. What am I thinking about the entire time? How much does this cost? So they're not actually fully listening to everything that you say.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So in the beginning, listen, we want to talk about our product here. I want to tell you, like, just so you know, this product ranges from $2,500 to $10,000, depending on what your needs are. My goal is to explain the three process formula that we have, and you can decide which, you know, which level is going to be best for you. What's right for you? I've already let them know your minimum is going to be $2,500 up to 10 grand. So they're no longer thinking about the price. Now, when I talk About the value of what I'm going to give them and what the result is. Now we can have an open conversation because they're not just like, oh my God, how much is it? Is it too expensive? Like that is sales 101. Like people, they're there. Let me tell you all this. Okay. And the price is 997. Do not wait till the end. Because then you do it. You're going to hammer it. You're just going to drop it on them at the end.
SPEAKER_02And then they have to start processing everything. And then they're processing it over the way. Is there no value? Is this too expensive?
SPEAKER_00Is it like when you tell them the price up front? Here's a range. I love giving a range. Right? Because one number, it's like a yes or no. Our options range from, let's say, you had a do-it-yourself course for $90. And you have a private one-on-one up to 20. Listen, we have a few products. They range anywhere from $90 for things like do-it-yourself all the way up to $20,000, which is a year-long one-on-one. I'd love to share with you what our process is and what we offer and make sure that we find the best fit for what you need. And you can have, you know, get you the information to make the best decision for you. How does that sound? That is such an uh opening to do that. Now I can talk about the value, and they're going to be more receptive. Right. So that's right there. If anybody listening is in sales, start with the price and then add the value because you're going to build the value as you talk.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. That I'm I like selling on proof and transparency too. I don't like trying to I don't know. I'm not also just like a natural salesperson. Yeah. So it always seemed the best to me, just like, hey, let's just provide as much proof as we possibly can and be super transparent. And hopefully we're providing a value of the buy is is like how I always think about it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So my thing is with products, if you can give options, because I think, oh, this person is never going to be able to afford my $20,000 program. Like, like I can make that judgment. But then at the end, they're like, yeah, I'll tell you. I'll send me the link. I'll take the you're like, wait, what? But I can't sell it to them if I don't offer it. And so, but I want to there's do it yourself, there's do do it with me, and then there's I do it for you. Like the we always say the three type of packages, right? Yeah. And then make, and then always have one that you think is going to be way too expensive. You're like, no one's gonna buy this. They cannot buy it from you if you don't offer it, and it's gonna make all these other ones look a lot better. I'm like, who's gonna pay 20 grand? And then guess what? They're like, absolutely, can you send the link? I'm like, oh God.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, if you can solve a problem, there's always somebody out there that it's like, that's my exact problem. I'd I'm good. I'll pay it.
SPEAKER_00Right. And here's the thing. Well, then I think about it, oh, well, they pay me 20 grand and I helped them make two million. So yeah, that was a pretty good return on investment. I might charge more next time, you know?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, the the person selling it is not looking at it that way most of the time. It's like, hey, if they're gonna make X number of dollars, then I don't know. There's even higher numbers in 20,000 that make a lot of sense.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, well, even like teaching confidence, I'm gonna teach you how to speak, but do you think that if you learned how to speak confidently on stage and pitching your products, what that would do for your conversions and then on social media and know how to do a call to action and get more leads and make more sales? If we actually put the numbers together, okay, you're gonna spend 20,000 with me, but would you like an extra 22 million dollars for that? So do you think it's expensive or is that cheap? Right? I know I do sales, so this is what I do, but it's the same, same thing.
SPEAKER_02Going back to the filler words, if somebody wants to get rid of them, what's the best way to practice?
SPEAKER_00Pause.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_00Short sentences. So as you start to say something and you're like, okay, and literally start taking them out and you're gonna do an extended pause. And it's gonna feel unnatural, but you're gonna train your brain not to say that word.
SPEAKER_02That's what I told the kid when he was pitching. Um, whenever I tried to give him some some advice, I was like, it's really hard to do. I just want you to be aware of it. But just pause, man. You like you can when you do it, you sound it's gonna land way more with the the judges or the or the people in the audience when you just slow down. Because I was like, you're super articulate. You're just going, you're so excited, you're going so fast. I was like, just pause, it's okay. And he he did it, and it sounded amazing.
SPEAKER_00I would say this everyone can speak average. We all speak every day in the world. So it's not like I did this one thing and I'm bad at speaking. No, you speak every day. You're an average speaker, you're normal speaker. What we want to do when we present and we go on stage and social media is we want to go from normal to good. We don't need to be great or excellent at this point, right? We just want to try to go from normal to good. That's it. That's a small step. And the few things you can do, now you're gonna be good. And once you get good, now I'm getting serious and I want to learn to be great. Right? That it's just little steps like anything. You can go from normal to an excellent speaker. There are a lot of excellent speakers, but because they've practiced a lot. So quit looking at these people that do these presentations and they're so good. Yeah, but they've done it for years. They've done hours and hours of presentations. Let's just practice going from average, normal, to good. And good is still 90% better than the rest of the world.
SPEAKER_02Yes, it is.
SPEAKER_00You know.
SPEAKER_02I know we talked about storytelling earlier. Why do you think people remember stories more than just information that somebody's up there?
SPEAKER_00Because it's a real connection. And that's again what AI cannot replace. When I tell you a story about how why did I start my company when I used to watch my parents both work eight hours a week and they would come home physically, mentally tired and wake up and do it again and again. And my father was a farmer and like out there physical hard work, making five bucks an hour. And I was like, I if hard work made you wealthy, my parents would be billionaires. But they're not because they didn't have the information that I teach now. It's why I do what I do. So if you want to hire me for your business, there's a huge why behind what I do. So when you hire me, you're gonna win. Because when I look at you, I see my father, I see my mother, and I'm gonna do everything to help you. That's a story. And it's real and it's connection, and you can't be replaced by AI. But do you see that emotional connection with that? Now that's a story. Why do you do what you do? And you're like, man, I want to support that person. You know what their struggle was? And sometimes we don't want to share those struggles.
SPEAKER_02But that's that thing that people really too. Yeah. What makes a story interesting?
SPEAKER_00Humor, a struggle that you overcame. Um, and different people in the room, you don't know what anybody else has gone through. Maybe they've gone through the exact same thing. You don't know.
SPEAKER_02When I first was gonna throw the first live event, I went to one of the only people that is really good on stage, and she's a really close friend of mine, and uh she runs a charity organization that she founded, and she's just so good on stage, and she even does the live auction too. So she doesn't bring in another auctioneer, she's like, she's doing the auction and she's like calling people out, and like she's she told me same thing, tell a story, but she was like, When you're when you're telling the story, she goes describe like every small thing, like, oh, when I went to jail 20 years ago, it was so cold and it was dark, and like she was just telling me, like, if you're telling it, like add in like these like so the person could feel like that they're there.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, in the moment.
SPEAKER_02So it just like Yeah, just like some things with the story that that that like I guess grab some emotions, like, oh my god, like I can kind of I feel myself in like a cold hospital or or whatever it was. Like people know, like relate to that, I guess what it was. That's that's the advice she gave me when I first started.
SPEAKER_00That's excellent advice. She knows what she's talking about. That's brilliant advice.
SPEAKER_02Great. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Bring them into that moment of like, like it'd be like, I'd be like, you know, sitting there watching them come in and literally the dirt on his hands, his hands were swollen and cut, and watching him work so hard, but never having enough money. Like, why? Why not? And I made it my mission. I never want anyone else like like that. You bring them into those. So in your stories that you have, get into those details.
SPEAKER_02I'm I'm just now like really I I heard her. This is a long time ago. Yeah, you know, six, eight months, six months ago. And I heard her, but I didn't implement it right away. And of course, now, you know, six, eight months later, me doing a couple live events, I'm like, okay, I understand.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. It's that, it's that tell that story to connect, make the point, and then go back into the audience and keep them engaged. Yes. Have you ever done this? Right? You're you're asking a question. Who here and then self-deprecating humor? I screwed this up. Anyone else screw up? Yeah, guess what I did? Oh at least, you know what? You probably screwed, at least you didn't do what I did. Let me tell you about that.
SPEAKER_02Gentry's so good at that. She was all I think she's just naturally good at that. But that again, that's what makes people like gravitate toward her, I think. So I gotta get better at that for sure. What's the simplest frameworks that somebody can use to tell a better story? Is there is there a is there something that is simple that when they're gonna go on camera, they're gonna give a presentation. Like, what's something they could use when they get on camera is like a step-by-step process to help them tell a better story?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's again, always have a point to why you're telling the story. Otherwise, it just sounds like you're complaining to a girlfriend, you know? Uh it's again that man, I I got fired and I deserved it. Now let me tell you exactly what happened and why, right? The body. So, if this, if you've ever felt this, I I assure you I did too. What am I am I relating? Am I called? It's the same framework, but it's about your stories. But what's the point of that story? So anything that you did, I, you know, try to get a job with the one of the number one salespeople in uh trainers in the world, because I'd sold millions of dollars in real estate. I was like, of course they're gonna hire me. They turned me down. They said no. And if you know me, when I hear no, I think I'm gonna prove that yes. And then that's exactly what I did and why. So where have you, where have you gotten the no and it made you so mad that you were like, I'm gonna prove you wrong, right? Leave a message, I want to hear about it. Like those kind of things, like those relatable moments that everybody can understand.
SPEAKER_02I think a lot of people think they have to have an incredible life to tell good stories.
SPEAKER_00I believe that every person has an incredible life. People are trying to be someone when they are already someone. And if they really looked into their own lives, they all have, every single person has incredible stories. And it may be the small thing that you think, oh, that wasn't a big deal. Yeah, but the person listening to that story that's struggling with that right now, it's a big deal for them. And the fact that you overcame it and they can relate to you on that, they feel seen, they feel heard. There's someone out there that actually experienced the same thing. So I truly believe that every single human is incredible and has incredible stories. They just may not know how to pull them out.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I think that I think that's why people don't like to share a lot of stuff on online or or don't know what to talk about on social media because they're thinking it's like, oh, I have to have done all these things.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I'm not that special.
SPEAKER_02I just I've I don't have a ton of experience, I guess, in certain areas of life. I guarantee it keeps people stuck. I think it keeps people stuck that that think that about themselves.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I guarantee every person has stories. You just don't know how to pull them out. And once you start pulling them out, I have this exercise, it's called the 100 stories worksheet, and it walks through how to do it. They just start pouring out of you. And you remember stories that you never, oh wow, I forgot about that story. I just did it with my husband the other night. We were going somewhere and I was like, oh my God, I did I ever tell you this? He's like, no. And I mean, I've been with him for 24 years. I'm like, I never told you this story. And it was really powerful. He was like, I had no idea about you. I'm like, you'd think you know everything about someone after 24 years.
SPEAKER_02How much vulnerability should somebody show in a story or tell in a story?
SPEAKER_00That's a great question. Um, I learned this from another mentor. We want it, and it sounds a little gross, but you can relate. We want to tell stories that are like scarred over, not still scabs, which uh that word is gross. So a scar, like I have a scar in here, I have a scar right here in my hand, right? It's healed. It's where I tried to pull uh plug out of a wall and actually punched my blender and cut right down to the bone. And I was so irritated, I hurt myself. I took my kids to the beach and I thought I would just ignore it and I had it had to have stitches, like, right? That is that's a scar. I'm healed, I have no emotional attachment to it still. I can tell, right? So our stories, we want stories that we're healed from. The scabs, they're not quite healed yet, right? There's still a lot of emotion that you're currently dealing with, that issue. Those would not be the stories that I would tell. What I am struggling with right now, that I don't have a solution for to help people, is not a story I'm gonna tell because I haven't figured out how I can why telling you this story is helpful to you. Does that make sense? And there's a lot of emotion still to it. It can come off as complaining, it can come off as whining, it could come off as like, I'm having this problem and I don't know what to do, and I just want to share this with you and like like a therapy session. That's what you don't want to do. You want to be like, look, like when I first got fired, that was emotionally like I was very upset. I wouldn't be telling that story right away. I was embarrassed or so much connect. Now I can tell that story to the lessons that I learned and why it's valuable that you hear this story, and here's where I'm taking you.
SPEAKER_02You're also willing to uh poke a little bit more fun at yourself after a long, you know, you're like, I can't believe how stupid that was. Like you're able to talk about it in a different way, I think, than when it's like happening to you.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, because the people you're talking to, they need, they need to hear the problem and they need to have a solution. Right. My daughter, I'll tell you this: there's movies that are out. I think there's a new Spider-Man movie that's out, and she went to see it and she goes, Mom, it ends on a cliffhanger, and she knows I cannot stint. I must have closure when it, whether it's a book I'm reading at night, 2 a.m., I've got one chapter left. I'm gonna keep going, even though I'm tired, because I need closure. People need closure with what you're telling the story. They need the solution and the closure. If you're like, this is a struggle, and well, hope you're not dealing with this.
SPEAKER_02I don't know what I'm gonna do with this stuff. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Right. So typically I would say, you know, depending on we wouldn't tell those. We would the scars have already healed. We can look back on with grace and humor with ourselves. Those are the stories that you tell.
SPEAKER_02We spend so much time talking, and we talked about a lot about that today in communication. How important is listening?
SPEAKER_00Incredibly important, and that's something that I used to never do. I was so excited to share what I have to say. I was just waiting for them to finish talking so then I could talk. And sometimes I wouldn't even I tend to get excited, I'll jump right in. I still do it to this day. Listening to respond, and this was another coach that I had. Again, I've had so many mentors of Julie. When they talk, I want you to pause. Let your brain absorb what they said, and then respond something about what they just said. You can include what you want, but you must uh engage with what they just said. I was like, oh, okay. That was hard for me.
SPEAKER_02That's hard. Uh that's a hard one for me too. And I don't think it's because I am really into what somebody's saying, but I think I'm gonna lose my train of thought. Like I'm I'm I I thought of something and I don't want to lose it, and so I'll jump in before they're finished. And that's probably m my still biggest thing that I do, especially on it's like I don't I'm I'm gonna forget it. So I I I gotta say it now before they finish talking. And I I I know I still do that to this day.
SPEAKER_00I do too. Listen, I teach professional speaking, I teach how to speak on camera, I am a keynote speaker, I get paid thousands of dollars. I still do it to this day. So you gotta give yourself grace. I would say, my last name is Gracie. It's built into my name. I'm gonna give myself grace and I'm gonna give other people grace. Like, great. You're excited about what you want to say, you're excited to share. That's good. And as soon as I'm gonna jump in, I I sometimes go like, oh, so sorry. I d to this day. So there's nothing wrong with that. Nothing about you is wrong. Anyone listening to you do that, nothing about you is wrong. You're very excited to share, which is good. It's just pausing. It's I've learned to just, okay, if I still want to say this in a minute, then it's valuable. If I don't say it and I forget it, because it will f I'll forget it. I'll be like, oh, there was something really good I wanted to say. Then it wasn't meant to be said.
SPEAKER_02I gotta keep practicing that one. It it's hard. Uh what makes somebody a really good listener?
SPEAKER_00Repeating back what they said helps you remember what they said too. Asking insightful questions, like that's really interesting. When that happened to you, how did that make you feel? Right? People want to talk about themselves.
SPEAKER_02You know, you read that a lot in books and like they do. That's the first thing that they tell you to whenever if you want to have a good conversation with somebody, like get them, get them talking about themselves.
SPEAKER_00And if you want to control the conversation, you control it with questions. Right? Where am I trying to guide them to? If I'm talking with someone, I'm like, this is a program that you should really join. I'm gonna ask them questions that they're answering that lead to this is the solution.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's sales techniques. It's sales techniques. And it's not, and it's not slimy.
SPEAKER_00Listen to me, I'm the first person. Sometimes I'll say, I hear what you're saying. I don't believe this is the right solution for you. And the reason why is because of X, Y, and Z, what you're telling me. As much as I would love to work with you, and you know, I'm a business owner, I would love to have you in this, but I don't think it's the right solution. I really believe you should start here. Now, if you choose and say, no, I actually really want this, great. So sometimes I will do that. It's not always like, I gotta push to get the sale. I'm very much of if it's not the right fit, we're not gonna do it. Right. And so when you approach it that way, it also lets people's guard down. But in the conversation, I can guide them. And I again also in sales communication of I don't know that I want to work with everyone. Maybe I'm starting to say, and they're like, well, I work with this coach and they were terrible, and then I work with this coach. Okay, you work with three other coaches and they're all terrible. Tell me more about that. Because now in the back of my mind, red flag, what like there's something missing there. Is this you? Are you unable to listen to your coaches because you had professional coaches? Right? And I might then say, you know what? You're absolutely right. You don't need me. You need to just go do this. You're amazing, bye. Because I I don't want them. So again, setting boundaries and saying no, that's how you say no to.
SPEAKER_02What's a bad question that a lot of people ask all the time?
SPEAKER_00How are you?
SPEAKER_02How's the weather?
SPEAKER_00I teach networking instead of just be like, so what projects are you working on lately? It's not a yes or no question.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Right? And so I taught this Yeah, what projects are you working on lately? Yeah, you're going to an event? Awesome. I'm super excited to be here. How did you find out about this event?
SPEAKER_02Have you come to a lot of these before? This is my first one.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I've never been here. Like, share something. And then you talk about there's there's three, I I own a, you know what? I'm actually own a roofing business and I've never been to these before. I'm just drove down from Dallas. How did you find out about this? I've just given them three different topics that they could touch on. Do they want to talk about that they're also from Dallas? Do they want to talk about this is their first event too, or they've been to a hundred events? Do they want to know that their brother also has a roofing company? I've just given them three choices of a to go down. What do you want to talk about? That is professional communication.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's a good point. I think I forget to do that sometimes too.
SPEAKER_00It's a practice. And even before you go to an event, you like I will go through, okay, walk through the things I want to say. And I've been doing this for a long time. Because you'll forget and you'll just fall back to normal, like hey, what's up? How you doing?
SPEAKER_02You know that's what happens. How do you disagree with somebody without becoming disrespectful?
SPEAKER_00That's an interesting take. I haven't thought of that before. That's not my viewpoint on that, but I can understand how you might think that. Like that.
SPEAKER_02And I know we talked about this earlier. How do you tell somebody no without feeling guilty?
SPEAKER_00That comes back to that first exercise of what what are your what do you want in life? And I if I want to be with my family and my children, every time I say yes to someone else, I'm saying no to them. Every time they're like, Mom, can you sit down and play a game with me? No, because I chose to say someone yes to someone else and not you. You get down and you look your kid in the eyes and you say, I'm sorry. I chose to say yes to a complete stranger, something I don't even want to do, instead of giving your time to you. You were not the priority they are. You're gonna say that to your kid? But that when you imagine saying that to you, you would never say that. So you have to think, no, first, I can always say yes later if you're a person that says yes a lot. Or maybe. Uh huh. Or just be like, you know what? I not right now. I possibly could. But maybe in two weeks. I possibly could. Let me check my schedule. I don't know if I can, but just give me. Like, actually, I can't. I'm not available. But thank you. And then sometimes when you're just very honest with family members, like, listen, I appreciate that. I I I'm at capacity right now. I have too much going on, and I'll be honest, I am very overwhelmed. So I do want to help you. I just I'm not able to right now. Does that make sense? And if you have someone that gives you flack back on that, they're like, no, I need you to be more overwhelmed. I need you to take care of me. That is not a friend. That is not a somebody that's caring about your needs. That's they'll tell you right there.
SPEAKER_02Which almost nobody actually does that. And when you like, when you actually say no, they're like, oh, okay.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00A lot of times you're your friends and family and people that they don't want to overwhelm you. They don't know your life, they don't know what you're dealing with, but they know you can help. So they're going to come to you. But be honest and just say, you know what? I do want to help you. I'm at capacity right now. You know, you have those days when you've just you got too much going on at one time. That's where I am right now. Can this wait for a couple weeks? Because I do want to help you. I'm just not able to right now. What are they gonna say? If they throw a fit, they're gonna look like the you know what.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, definitely not the right person. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00They're not the right people in your lives. They they but that shows you do they actually care about me and what I need or do they care about themselves?
SPEAKER_02Yes. Good point. Why is asking for help a form of confidence?
SPEAKER_00Huge. Because you have like I realize that I don't need to do it all. I don't know all the things, and I'm confident because people are like, oh, I that ego comes in. I must know all the things. Like I'm a business coach that I must know every single thing about every kind of business, and everybody I coach, 100% of them find success. That's not real success. That's not real confidence. But when I have someone that's like, hey, I want to launch this product to this, I'm like, I don't know anything about that. But let me connect you to some people that do.
SPEAKER_02I'm good at it now, but in my 20s, I was terrible. I thought I knew everything. I thought uh didn't want to ask for help because if I did, it made me look weak or bad or whatever.
SPEAKER_00So Yeah, you think that asking it for help makes you weak. And I, but that's how I was raised too. I was raised by, you know, my mother's from Canada. So I have an immigrant mother. It was like, you work hard, you depend on yourself, you know, no like no victim mentality, no complaining, you just make it happen. And but it was also the good thing that she taught me, I can outwork anyone. Right? I can figure it out. And so all those really great lessons. But the one thing that was hard is we don't ask for help. You just do it. And that works for a while until it doesn't, until you just wear yourself down.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's what happened to me.
SPEAKER_00Because you think, like, I am when I ask for help as a mom, well, that makes me I'm not a very good mom. Or especially my men, they are women will ask for help more than the men. My men that I coach, if I ask for help, I am not a real man. I am like the there's a big ego play in that. And so the men that do actually get business coaching, it's great because I'm like, look, you you want to show up as an amazing husband. You want to be present for your children, you want to get rid of that belly that's been growing because you've been working 60, 70 hours a week instead of taking care of your body. But that's not, we don't start there. We're gonna, we're gonna make you more sales. Yeah, we're gonna make you more sales. But then slowly I start cutting into these personal areas because that's what they really, that's really what they need. Yes, my business, but also my wife's complaining I'm working too much, my health is bad, I'm not showing up as the father I want to be, but they're never gonna ask for help for that. Right. And so that's how I let's work on your business. But slowly we start fixing the things.
SPEAKER_02And they're like, you changed my life.
SPEAKER_00And they did. Yeah, I don't, I mean, one of the biggest ones was I had a landscaper that was in Michigan. The guy got in crazy good shape. He worked seven days a week. I'm like, we are taking a day off. Which day is it gonna be? He's like, I've got to work like yeah, we're taking and he was like, I took my daughter to lunch. She's a teenager. I'm like, dude, she's gonna be out the door soon. And he was just like, Oh, amazing. He got started waking up, eating eggs for breakfast instead of a donut on the way in the truck. Dude got jacked. I mean, it just, yes, we learned sales, we made you more money, but these this is the real deep impact that you have.
SPEAKER_02It's like says who, right? It's like, I have to work seven days a week. I used to tell myself that. I was like, wait a second. It's like I'm telling myself that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So when it comes to asking for help, that's the fastest way to grow. It's the fastest way to get what you need. I I don't like to ask for help. It's hard for me, but I know the value of it, especially in coaching or mentor.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I've learned that. I'm I'm good with it now. I try to learn everything I can from anybody that I can learn it from. Uh, but anyway, you're in your 20s, well, as a guy too, like you said, like sometimes you're like, I can figure it out my own. And that leads you down a long, rocky road when you could have just skipped your way through a lot of that stuff and and took a bunch of shortcuts.
SPEAKER_00You're like, how's that working out for you? Yes.
SPEAKER_02I I learned that the hard way. What does somebody do when they're either talking to somebody or something happens and somebody challenges their opinion? Like, how should they respond? Or how should they, I guess, interact in in that situation?
SPEAKER_00Okay. Um, meaning like you're saying this is a great way to do a business, and you're and they're like, no, that's a terrible way.
SPEAKER_01Maybe, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Okay. You're like, okay, yeah, tell me more. I I want to know why why do you think that? Ask a question. You know, so for example, um, you you shouldn't go to college, you just should instead go through my program. That's a terrible idea. Yeah, I can see why you might think that, but I'd love to know what what makes you say that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that makes sense.
SPEAKER_00Right?
SPEAKER_02I think a lot of people ha also have a problem with saying I don't know. And so being able to say that is that an actual sign of confidence.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. So I teach this course in sales of like we we don't say I don't know, we say that is a great question, I'm gonna get that information for you. I don't have the information right now, but I'll get it for you. Yeah, I'll find out. I will find out for you. Like, I have a solution for you. I don't have the answer right now, but I will get the answer. Right? So it's just that what else? Tell me more. What else what else can I get for you? It's not like, oh, oh, I don't know. That is a really great question. I actually don't have that answer right now, but I will find it for you. And I'll get back to you by the end of the day. Does that work?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and I think people trust you more too. If you like kind of have an answer for everything, sometimes it you know, people can sniff that out a little bit.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, because the yeah, there's a BS meter that goes on. When you see someone that's BSing and you and you might, you don't know that person might know more about this than you do. And then you're you're saying, Oh, I know this, or like, you have no freaking clue what you're talking about.
SPEAKER_02Like, and if you just say, Look, I don't know, actually. I haven't looked into that.
SPEAKER_00Or just be like, from what I know, I believe this and this. You could just be like, listen, from what I understand with it, it's this and this, but I could be wrong. Right? So here's what I think, but I could be wrong, which means I'm open to your thoughts too. So if you say something that's different, you're not wrong and I'm not wrong. But I'm open to what you have to say. But yeah, sometimes you get people that are very aggressive and they're come at you. That's that's actually my favorite people. Because that means that they're already emotionally involved in the conversation, especially if I'm like, hey, why you should you do this? And I'd be like, that's a great choice. And you could go and do that. That's one option. I agree with you. How can I agree? We talk about the agreement, Jill. How can I agree with someone? That's a great option, if that works for you. But if it doesn't, we have this.
SPEAKER_02What should you do if somebody asks you a question and your mind goes blank? I know earlier we talked about it from like a stage speaking standpoint, but if you're just in a sales conversation or you're just in a conversation with somebody else, like what do you do? Like, how do you recover?
SPEAKER_00Meaning like you just asked me a question and I'm like, I have no idea what you just asked me.
SPEAKER_02Uh what were you talking about?
SPEAKER_00Right? In there like you're like, I'm sorry, can you repeat that, please?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00That's it. It doesn't have to be dream like shoot, my brain just went off to think about what I was gonna eat for dinner right when you're talking to me. But my brain does. I am so sorry, I've had three hours of sleep. Can you repeat that for me, please? Like, that was me, my fault, I didn't hear you. I want I want to hear what you had to say. I'm sorry, I want to hear what you had to say. My brain just literally went blank. Could you repeat that for me, please? Do that, be honest with it. Not be like, oh, uh, what'd you say? Right? That that's it. Like when you when you that's the confidence to say, hey, you know what, I'm not perfect, because everyone's trying to be perfect. How about this? I'm not gonna be perfect. Let's try that. I'm purposely not gonna be perfect. I'm gonna get up here and I'm not gonna say the right thing. I'm not gonna do the right hand gestures. Will I still survive? Okay, so let's go up there and not be perfect. Right? It's just because I gotta say the right thing. How about I just try to say the right thing? I'm probably not going to, and that's gonna be just fine. We you know what, I wanna give I wanna get up there and give myself a D minus for the day. It's still a passing grade. That's that's my goal. If I can get an A in what I'm doing presentation, awesome. But I'm gonna still be happy I got a D minus.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, taking the first, just taking the first step.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, give yourself a little grace and kindness as you learn new things.
SPEAKER_02If you have a teenager at home or you're trying to teach somebody like I'm trying to teach my son, and maybe they barely want to talk to adults, like where where should the parents start?
SPEAKER_00So if you have a teenager that's of working age, get him a job. But something you're not worried about them making money.
SPEAKER_02In the real world.
SPEAKER_00In the real world. Yeah. They have to talk to people and they have to have conversations, right? Get them around adults where they have conversations. Listen, you know, have them help with something where they have to talk again, depending on what your business is and what you do. Um, my oldest daughter used to go into my husband's office and uh he was, you know, she was like, Oh, can I have a business card? And she'd take his business card and put her sticker her name on it and make copies and cut them out and go around the office and pass out her business card if anybody need help, right? And when we would go, when he would go and be like, Okay, I have to go into this office, we have to present this idea. Can you show them this and say these three things? You know, practice with me. Okay. Go in and she's just sitting next to him and he's talking, you know, all these numbers and assets and all this stuff. And okay, yep, show it to them. Little things like that. So when our girls were little, we would have them even ordering food. You will always look at the waiter in the eye. When they pour the water, they know this now. My daughter's sitting over here next to me. She knows now what happens when someone pours the water and you don't say thank you, you're in trouble. You recognize every single person that comes to that table, you look at them and you say thank you. You speak up. Then when someone they'll order food, what do you want? May I please have this? Thank you. Like you get them speaking like this is normal in in normal situations.
SPEAKER_02I think parents, as parents, a natural instinct is like jump in and try to help them do something. And it's probably the worst thing you should do, right? Like you just have to let them figure it out on their own. And and that's what we've been doing for my son. Like, I'll put him in the situations and then like just practice, practice. And everywhere we go, I'll let him talk or I'll let him teach him how to do it. And so just like real world stuff. I think that that's what uh people probably lack, especially nowadays, like growing up on the computer screen, right? It's into just a different world.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I mean, when we'd see people in a restaurant, it'd be somebody's birthday. I'd be like, go over there and tell them happy birthday.
SPEAKER_01That's a pretty good one.
SPEAKER_00You know, go to go walk up to the table and say, we just want to say happy birthday and come back. So you want to have dessert, you gotta go tell them happy birthday.
SPEAKER_02Did you? Were you like, come on, mom?
SPEAKER_00No, they wanted no, they remember the care at first, but then it's like, okay, no problem. Yeah. And like, yeah, it was like it would, but it was normal. It was normal.
SPEAKER_02I'm using that for my kid. Yeah, you said. I can have an ice cream. I don't know. Actually, go walk up to that table and tell them happy birthday, and then yeah, you can have ice cream.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so things like that that seem so small, but guess what? They walked up to a stranger's table with your get guidance, spoke to a stranger, and walk back. First of all, they're little and they're cute. So everybody's excited when the little cute kid comes, but you're teaching them to be able to speak.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, just practice. Yeah. How do you teach a kid to handle rejection?
SPEAKER_00That's a tough one, depending on the kid. Some kids are more sensitive to rejection than others. And I know because I have a total of two. Um, but it is some people like I have two very different children, right? They're each individual. One can handle rejection well, the other one, it's very hard. And so I can tell you what I have done, what I was taught. And it's just like, I'm not for everyone, and they're not rejecting me. They're rejecting whatever I'm trying to ask them to do, right? And when it comes to kids like middle school, rejecting friend groups, that's a whole different dynamic. Middle school's rough. I just, you know, you've got to talk to probably a child there. It's rough. Middle school is, and they're trying to figure out communication. But as you get into business and rejection, as far as like older teens, I want to get into jobs. Learning that rejection is a part of the process. It's a part of life, has nothing to do with you personally.
SPEAKER_02I tell parents that about that's why I go back to that service business thing. I was like, anything, just some type of anything, selling something to somebody, uh, it it will help them get over that rejection because people are gonna tell them no and no and no. It's like the most confident kid at our event the other day. So he's been door knocking since he was 16 years old. Of course. He's extremely confident because like he's probably got 10,000 noes.
SPEAKER_00Door knocking is the roughest thing. It is so hard.
SPEAKER_02It's the people that are.
SPEAKER_00People yell at you, they slam the door on you, they are outright aggressive. They might let the dog out of the house at you.
SPEAKER_02Like, what are you doing on my property?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So if you have someone that can door knock to sell a service, they're gonna make millions.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I think just I think, you know, putting them in situations early enough, and then you just kind of get used to it and you feel and no, it's not the end of the world if it happens.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but you know, sometimes I say baby steps. I wouldn't be like, oh, you know, like go start knocking doors, they're gonna be scarred for life. Little things like that. How can I have them to have conversations? When we go to a store, we need to ask someone a question, have them ask the question.
SPEAKER_01That's what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_00We can't find this item on a shelf, we're gonna walk over and you're gonna ask them where it is.
SPEAKER_02And then the more you ask questions and talk to people, the less you're worried about getting rejected, anyways. I mean, even going up and telling like happy birthday, the first thing if if I told my son that he's like, What are they gonna say? I'm going up to this table. What if they he's probably thinking, or what if they like tell me, What are you, you're crazy, what are you doing at our table? He's probably thinking that. But the more even doing stuff like that, I think they would overcome rejection a little bit easier the more you just like don't care.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you just said something, it'd be like the oh, they're gonna think I'm crazy. Great, I'm crazy. You're gonna be just like me. Do you like me? Am I cool? I'm cool, great.
SPEAKER_02It's weird that you think that, or everyone thinks that. It's like, well, I wouldn't go up and and talk to people. But when you do, they actually like you. Like, man, that guy was really amazing. Look at that kid's amazing. He came up and wished happy birthday. It's like the opposite of what you actually think in your head.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_02It's like, I don't want to talk to this, I don't want to be weird and go out of my way and talk to this person. But if you actually do, then they like you a lot more. It's like it's it's the opposite.
SPEAKER_00But then, but you just taught yourself a lesson. I can go up and talk to complete strangers, and guess what? I didn't die, they didn't attack me, they didn't say, You're a horrible person. You don't deserve to come and talk to me. None of that happens.
SPEAKER_02Hey everyone, real quick, I just want to let you know this podcast is 100% independent. No ads, no sponsors, just real. If you're finding value in whatever we're doing here, the biggest help that you can give us is hitting subscribe and sharing this with someone who you think needs to hear it or someone that it will provide value to. That's how we continue to grow. And if you did that, I would really appreciate it. All right, I got some quick questions. Okay. Before we end. Fire, fire, Joe. Let's go. Let's go. What's one thing that instantly makes somebody a better communicator?
SPEAKER_00Smile.
SPEAKER_02I believe that too. What's the biggest communication mistake?
SPEAKER_00Not communicating.
SPEAKER_02Best way to get better on camera.
SPEAKER_00Practice.
SPEAKER_02Yes. Common sense. What's one thing people should stop doing when they're nervous?
SPEAKER_00Telling themselves that they're nervous.
SPEAKER_02What's one thing that people should start doing?
SPEAKER_00Telling themselves that they are out trying new things. They should be excited because they're doing new things.
SPEAKER_02What's better preparation or repetition?
SPEAKER_00Both. You prepare by repeating the practice, yes.
SPEAKER_02Uh what about being impressive or being relatable?
SPEAKER_00Relatable.
SPEAKER_02I think so too. What's one thing that you wish somebody had taught you about communication earlier in life?
SPEAKER_00How to confidently get my words across without so many words.
SPEAKER_02Okay. And if somebody's watching this or listened to this whole podcast and is terrified of public speaking or being on camera, what's the one thing you would tell them before they close out this episode?
SPEAKER_00Congratulations. You are normal. This is the normal fear of the entire United States, if not the world. So nothing about you is wrong. Nothing about you is broken. You're normal. It is a skill that you can build. And it starts with practicing. You can go on your phone right after you hear this, start recording yourself talking about the most random things. No one's going to see it. You are safe. And just start practicing. Get familiar with you. Because once you do that, thousands of doors open that are full of opportunities.
SPEAKER_02I agree. That's been only beneficial in my life for sure. Last thing, if you could give somebody one piece of advice that would help them be more confident, communicate better, and become more comfortable using their voice, what would you tell them?
SPEAKER_00Get really clear about what you want. There is a framework that I talked about, getting very clear in the what do you actually want, not what your mom wants, your sibling society. What do you actually want? So you know what you're working toward, lay out a plan, and start taking even if in 24 hours, take one step towards something that you want to do. And it's those baby steps that eventually get you to where you want to go. Everyone's scared of the first step. It seems so huge. It's one small step. Yeah, just start. And that is going to slowly start building your confidence. Then you start getting on camera, recording yourself, practicing. And I don't care what it is you want to do, I so strongly suggest you get a mentor. Now, that mentor could be somebody that you watch on YouTube. That mentor could be someone, but not necessarily my Uncle Bill, who has no idea anything about what I want to do. Uncle Bill means well, but he does not know anything about this. Get an expert in the area that you're trying to grow toward.
SPEAKER_02I tell people that all the time. Like it doesn't make any sense. So don't listen to people that aren't have gone down that path that you're trying to go. Their opinion probably doesn't matter too much when you're trying to get there. So I tell people that, Tom. Well, I really appreciate you coming on. I feel like we covered every single thing under the sun in communication. So if somebody's listening to this, they should have a clear path, no matter what they're scared of or what situation they're in. I think if they listen to this whole thing, one of these things in here uh hopefully helps them like to take the first step or makes them better at whatever they're already doing.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, absolutely. And just if you're listening, you have gifts that the world needs. You should not hide them. There's no reason to hide that you don't know how to get started. Listen to this and start implementing some of the things we talked about. It will help you. Guaranteed.
SPEAKER_02I'm living proof for sure. If anybody can do it, I promise you. If I can do it, like there's anybody out there was not worse than me whenever I started. Thank you for coming on.
SPEAKER_00Thank you.